As appalling as it is to parents, teenage boys and pornography is considered a right of passage in the society that makes up teenage boys. In the early teen years, the boy who can provide the pornography is heralded as a hero, and a small group of self considered elite 13 years stand around with their mouths agape as they look at sexually suggestive photographs of women. They do it to satisfy a curiosity, to enter into the forbidden world, to understand sexual urges, and, in a misguided manner, attempt to learn about sexuality.
Later, pornography becomes a fantasy that allows them to dream up where they would like to place their high strung sexual energy. It is no longer a shared proposition, although if it happens in groups that’s fine with them. Pornography becomes their “dirty little secret,” and their “guilty pleasure” amidst a world of sexually charged messages that encourages boys to engage their sexual prowess as early as possible. In many ways, boys look to pornography to teach them about sex with the assumption that they should instinctively know this stuff. Teenage boy pressure tends to make teenage boys believe that unless they are sexually aware and even sexually active, they are missing out on something. Of course teenage girls are preached at constantly about not allowing anyone to take them down the road of sexual activity, and thus teenage boys end up frustrated. They feel they should be sexually active without a willing partner to enter them into this realm of perceived infamy.
It is important to speak to teenage boys about pornography, especially with the ease of access they have since the internet made into bedrooms and living rooms. Without guidance, pornography can become an addiction of sorts. Boys become sexually aroused, they handle the arousal themselves, and it feels good to them, and thus they want to do it again. However, this is leaving them with the misguided impression that pornography is sex, when in fact it has very little to do with sex.
Pornography is a very hot topic, and parental attitudes will determine how they approach the idea of pornography with their teenage boy. Some parents feel as though it is normal, and they’ll grow out of it or at least keep it in the privacy of their bedrooms while other parents feel it is sinful. Women and mothers tend to feel that pornography is degrading to women and teaches boys to disrespect women and their bodies. Regardless of a parent’s personal feelings about it, pornography can be damaging to teenage boys. It inhibits normal sexual development and supersedes intelligent sexual growth. Talking to your sons about pornography is just as important as talking to them about smoking and drugs and all the other parental discussions we regard as vital.
Teenage boys and pornography is not considered a particularly healthy part of teenage development. Boys need to be taught about sex and sexuality just as much as girls do, however society feeds into the notion that boys will sexually mature naturally without a lot of interference. As long as they are using a condom, they can’t get hurt, right? Wrong.
Boys can be just as easily scarred from sexual experimentation as girls, they’re just taught to hide it better. Allowing pornography to be their teacher is setting them up for a very confused and very selfish and disappointing sexual relationship later in life. There are very few women who are interested in being objectified the way pornography teaches boys, and very few women are interested in being that adventurous in the early stages of their sexual relationships. Pornography is a handier tool for teaching teenage boys what women don’t want rather than what women are looking for or are willing to do. Without guidance, pornography can set boys up for serious sexual dysfunction.
What makes pornography so confusing for teenage boys is the display of sexual maturity that most real women don’t enter into a sexual relationship with, and require an enormous amount of trust in their partner to display. Boys get ideas in their minds and believe that sex will be all about this explosion and often don’t take into consideration that woman’s feelings and physical limitation in early sexual experiences. This can leave their first sexual encounters very disappointing, for both individuals, and lead to confusion and even failed relationships is pornography is their guiding influence.
There are numerous debates that pornography contributes to social mayhem and violence such as rape and sadistic sexual practices. Whether or not this is true has yet to be proven, but almost all studies show that teenage boys who look to pornography for sexual guidance and arousal are sexually immature, have terrible sexual experiences, and are confused about sexual issues. Teenage boys and pornography is nearly unavoidable in the current age of technology that we live in, however parental guidance regardless of how red faced is irreplaceable when it comes to issues of pornography.
