All children need attention. If there is no positive attention to be had, they will seek negative attention. avoid this slippery slope by following these ten tips.

1.  See Your Child’s Acting Out as a Need for Attention: See Billie’s misbehavior as a cry for attention. Let go of any judgment you might have about Billie ‘needing attention’. Think of it as him asking for a glass of water. Your child is not wrong for being thirsty; he should not be made wrong for wanting attention.

Never criticize Billie for acting out. All you need to know is that he is in desperate need for his feelings to be cared about and to be shown that he is loved. Let Billie know that, although you are not happy with what he’s doing, you want to know what’s going on with him. Tell him you love him; give him a hug and say, “Want me to take you to the park?” If you’re in a time crunch, say “I love you! Wanna go to the park later and talk?”

2. Children are Mirrors: Think back on a time when you wanted attention and did not get it. Take out your journal and write: “Why does it bother me that Billie wants so much attention?” And then ask: “When did I want love and attention and felt angry because I didn’t get it?” Sometimes parents feel like it’s not fair that their child gets the attention they never got. If you can’t think of a time, let it percolate for a few hours – it’ll come to you. Then call your EFT tapping buddy and heal the painful memory.

3. A Parenting Pep Talk: When a baby cries, you don’t get angry with it: You pick it up. You hold it, offer it a bottle, see if it needs changing. You try everything you can think of until it stops crying. Children and adults are just bigger babies, also needing affection, praise, and quality time with you.

4. How To Know When It’s Enough: When a child is satiated, he or she will begin making a craft or start playing fetch with the dog. Because they got what they needed. Don’t worry about ‘spoiling’ your child with too much attention: They will let you know if it’s too much.

5. Stop Gossip in Its Tracks: If you hear, “Don’t mind Dolly, she’s just looking for attention,” say, “Oh! Thank you for letting me know! Gotta go – I got some major huggin’ to do!” And then go and do something fun with your precious child. Aunt Minnie will get the message.

6. See It as a Healthy, Human Need: Have you ever asked your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend for a hug? How dare you need some extra attention! Just kidding. If a child is showing you through their behavior and mood that they are needing attention, gosh darn it, give it to them. Generously and with panache!

7. Appreciate and Acknowledge. Every child needs to be appreciated and acknowledged – for creative contributions, acts of kindness, doing their homework, making you laugh, hugging their siblings, showing up for dinner. Make it a priority to spend quality time with your child, praising them, helping them with their homework, reading to them, telling them jokes and funny stories. Show them they are cherished and important to you.

8. Seek Out the Real Reason for the Acting Out: Your child is never ‘being selfish’ or doing something ‘for attention’. Ask them what’s going on with them. If they can’t tell you, figure out something they enjoy to do with them. Be patient, and they will eventually tell you.

9. Circumvent the Acting Out: You will be amazed at how infrequently your child acts out when you shower them with praise, acknowledgment, affection, and individualized attention. It only takes a moment to acknowledge your child at dinner for something they have done that was awesome!

10. Children Bounce Back Quickly: Children bounce back quickly when they’re given what they need. When you see your child happy and drawing you a picture because you gave them the love and nurturing they needed, you’ll know you did the right thing.

Janet Stegman is an EFT and Inner Child Practitioner, successfully counseling people with addiction and other mental health disorders for more than 20 years. Janet is the author of Sandcastles: Tools for Letting Go of Addiction and the Pain of the Past; How to Raise a Healthy Happy Child; and My Mother the Comedian . . . I Mean Superior Court Judge. She also has extensive comedy and musical theatre credits including Janet Stegman Starring in HBO Here I Come! and Peter in Peter Pan. Janet lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she teaches Silver Sneakers and dances the Lindy Hop every chance she gets! For more information visit www.janetstegman.com.

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Photography and videography

These have become even more accessible, thanks to mobile phones. Video, in particular, can capture milestones like the first step.

However, professionals can help to create truly special photos that capture other moments more effectively. One example of this is ABL Photography, which is a San Diego maternity photographer offering professional photoshoots tailored to expectant mothers. Parents can capture the anticipation before the baby arrives. After birth, regular photo sessions can follow the baby’s growth with a professional touch. Hiring a trusted and experienced photographer makes it easier to share these precious moments and capture images that are true to life.

Baby books and journals

Creating a baby book or journal is a traditional method of documenting milestones, and it’s still a popular choice. It’s a very personalized approach and can be as detailed as you choose. You can start by recording prenatal memories and continue through the years, noting down first words, holidays and other special occasions. This analog method has a charm that digital media struggles to replicate.

Growth charts

Growth charts are a simple but effective way to track your baby’s physical development. They can be as simple as marks on a doorframe or as elaborate as custom-designed charts that fit with your nursery’s decor. They are a quick reference for tracking growth, and they can also be fun for your child to see their own progress as they grow.

Art projects

Engaging in art projects can be a fun way to document milestones while allowing your creativity to flourish. You can make handprint or footprint art at different stages, create a quilt with clothes from key moments in your baby’s life, or start a scrapbook that mixes pictures, crafts and mementos. Some of these options also help you to avoid wasting items that are no longer used.

Memory boxes

If you like to include more keepsakes, memory boxes can hold a variety of items, from hospital bracelets to favorite toys. Unlike baby books, they can contain three-dimensional objects that tell a more textured story of your baby’s early years. These boxes can become treasured keepsakes that hold a physical connection to past moments.

Capturing those first moments forever

Documenting your baby’s developmental milestones preserves the important moments of childhood that often pass too quickly. Whether you choose baby books, the artistry of a maternity photographer, monitor growth narratives through charts, or something else, these records highlight your child’s first years. Each method has its own charm. When combined, they offer a more complete narrative of your child’s important milestones.

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Get Yourself Adequately Trained

Some foster children come into the system from disrupted homes, so knowledge about how to deal with them is crucial for building positive relationships. Fostering agencies provide training for their foster carers, which is designed to give you the skills and knowledge you need. Building and maintaining a positive relationship with foster children often requires specific knowledge and understanding of certain proven techniques, so training is essential.

If you feel inadequately trained for the kind of responsibilities given to you, you should contact your fostering agency and ask them for advice. In case they are not able to offer suitable help, consider changing your fostering agency. Fosterplus, for example, has local fostering agencies throughout the UK and they train all their chosen foster care providers even before pairing them up with their first child in care.

Initiate Communication but Don’t Push for Information

As mentioned, many foster children are taken into the system under difficult circumstances, so they may feel vulnerable, especially younger children. This means your foster children should be treated with compassion and empathy at all times. In general, the idea is to initiate a conversation about something that can be random or relevant to the child’s interests, to help them settle. Initiate the conversation, but don’t push for any kind of information. Favourite food is always a random but well-liked topic to consider.

Never ask them about their background or why they are in the foster system. If the child is willing to share, let them do it at their own pace and to the extent that they wish to, but don’t ask questions about any sensitive topics. If you need more information about their background, it should be provided to you by your agency. Given that some adults poke for information, your approach will in most cases put you in a different, and positive light. This approach will, in turn, help you establish a quick rapport with the child.

Ask and Plan Activities

These are the kinds of questions that you can ask, but not right after they get there. Give them some time to settle down first. Once they are settled, ask them about their preferred activities, games, sports, etc. Children like talking about things that they enjoy, so that in itself is a conversation starter.

After you have built the initial rapport, see what options you can avail to engage in a joint activity with them. It can be something as simple as watching a child’s favourite TV show together, or a gaming session with a teenager. As long as they are the ones who want it, it’s a winning situation.

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By doing so, your child could find it easier to overcome stress, make smarter decisions, and develop healthier relationships. If you want your son or daughter to recognize and express their emotions, read this parent’s guide to cultivating emotional intelligence in children.

Apply Labels to Their Emotions

Labeling your child’s feelings will improve their emotional awareness. It is a powerful way to build their vocabulary and help them articulate their emotions when they’re feeling sad, angry, scared, shy, or happy. For instance, if your child has an emotional outburst when you won’t buy them a toy at a store, you could reply, “Are you feeling frustrated?” or, “Do you feel angry?”

Use Technology for Emotional Management

Managing emotions at any age isn’t an easy task. Yet, adolescence and teenage years can be a confusing time exacerbated by shifting hormones, peer pressure, and friendship issues. As a result, a young person might experience emotional outbursts or make rash decisions. Also, many autistic people, including children and teenagers, struggle to understand or communicate their feelings or may experience more intense emotions than others.

Various apps are available to help children develop better emotional intelligence and manage their overwhelming feelings. For example, www.autism360.com is a comprehensive autism app that can help your son or daughter manage their emotions, articulate their feelings, and improve their behavior. Read this article for more information.

Listen to Your Child

Every parent should set time aside to listen to their child. Sitting down to chat with your son and daughter will prove you’re interested in their thoughts and feelings, making them feel seen, heard, and understood.

Avoid interrupting your child, show empathy, and provide the space to articulate their thoughts and emotions without judgment. It will teach your daughter or son that it’s okay to discuss their feelings openly and honestly, which will support emotional regulation and protect their mental health.

Teach Problem-Solving

Problem-solving is one of the best ways to cultivate emotional intelligence. Once you have helped your child label their feelings, you must encourage them to identify one or more solutions to their problem. Brainstorm various ideas with your son or daughter to pinpoint an option that will lift their spirits and help them overcome a potential issue. By encouraging your child to reflect on their past actions and resolve a problem, you will teach them how to solve any obstacle on their own and in a logical manner.

Model Emotional Intelligence

Lead by example to develop your child’s emotional intelligence skills. For instance, you must model expressing feelings, working through conflict, listening to others, and problem-solving. If a child sees you respond to a tough issue with understanding and patience, they’re more likely to follow in your footsteps.

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Parenting and living in a family today require a new kind of depth, maturity, and wisdom to handle a host of new potholes. It’s already clear that almost no one believes that parenting is an easy job. In the 21st century, with all of its extra dangers, parents need to start educating their children by recognizing the importance of having conversations about gun shootings, global warming, worldwide corruption, and the divide in the country between the political leaders that are our representatives.

Children’s feelings and sensible parental responses about these issues must be sensitively approached in age-appropriate ways. It also is more impactful when the parents are able to share the changes, they’ve made themselves as models, whether that’s responding to national and global concerns by listening to the news and gaining insight and intelligence or new conversations they’re having and actions they’re taking.

Three essential parenting guidance tips to striking the right balance

Having counselled numerous families, it’s clear that a combination of accountability, communication to discuss how specific events and issues impact everyone, and expressing empathy regarding vulnerable feelings with realistic reassurance is the key to giving every family the best chance to be informed and united.

1. Accountability. It is imperative for parents to teach their children the wisdom that we all face situations we often don’t have clear answers for. Unlike how most of us were brought up, today’s parents must teach their kids that they will face challenges and greatly diverse views.

In fact, this needs to be something we all return to, as no one person can know the answers to global warming, nuclear dangers, international corruption, the nuances of freedom and democracy, etc. This will often lead to the wisdom of accepting not knowing the answers and supporting contemplation on the part of both the kids and parents.

Another recent challenge in today’s parent-child relationship, especially in the US, is the surge of school shootings. Children and teenagers are continually reading about or hearing about school shootings. This added level of insecurity on both sides can be immensely stressful.

2. Communication. Addressing this directly and reassuring kids that they are reasonably safe while encouraging them to talk about their feelings is critical. Parents need to guide their children in finding the balance between fear and courage, anxiety and realistic trust and sensibility.

Similarly, discussions about difficult and stressful world events, e.g., the Russia-Ukraine war, are important for older children. They might turn to their parents to understand or seek comfort, which brings the unique challenge of sharing enough information with your children before they hear about it elsewhere.

3. Empathy. With rampant misinformation, the most developed parents consider sharing updates within their family circles easier before their kids are influenced by misinformation or other frightening sources.

How can we raise our children to be citizens of the world?

Another aspect that’s vital for parents to consider is looking carefully at how we were raised. We need to watch out if we’re duplicating areas of being driven to achieve simply for personal security or overprotecting our children by not sharing crucial details about things and events that might impact them.

Most upper and upper-middle-class families focus dominantly on achievement and success as the most important values. However, it is vital to consider contributing more to our communities and the wider planet in today’s day and age. This can be framed as a balancing feature to encourage the next generation towards potentially different and helpful careers.

This encouragement also needs to involve conversations about balance and how they are sharing their inner worlds emotionally. To ensure the world has a chance of survival, it’s essential that we all now begin to consider the security of the world rather than just our kids and families.

Our world needs us as parents to be stewards of both our families and the world. We can’t assume that the institutions that we have relied on can take the brunt of the responsibility to protect our families and ourselves. Our role as parents is more important than ever to help our kids prepare and inspire them to be motivated towards a new and caring way of living.

Robert Strock practiced psychotherapy for 45 years. He is a distinguished teacher, author, and humanitarian. His unique insights are shared through a comprehensive selection of online videos, blogs, and guided meditations at AwarenessThatHeals.org. Robert’s work resonates with anyone seeking inner peace and a compassionate engagement with the world. He co-founded a non-profit organization, TheGlobalBridge.org, to innovate, create alternatives for underprivileged communities, and develop initiatives to combat the climate crisis. For more information and media requests, visit  www.RobertStrock.org.

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The very same thing might also apply to your kids. Sometimes, we might even wonder, “Why do kids run away?” Well, it can be for different reasons. Naturally, kids do love to run simply just to play. At that age, the kids can be pretty active and really want to play all day. Running is just a part of their busy activities.

But aside from the fun, there’s probably another reason, the bad one, that caused the kids to run away.

Why do kids run away?

When you see a kid running away from home, there could be potential problems that they have inside. The kids can be too shy to share their problems with their parents. And when the trouble keeps piling up, that’s when the stress bubble finally pops.

The kids tend to run away as a method to escape. Experience of bullying, mental health difficulties, and abuse may scare them for life. Parents may often confuse why their kids behave in such a way. Hopefully, by seeing this guide, you may take the correct action to solve the problems.

What to do if the child ran away from home?

After knowing the reasons to run away from home, now we want to tell you about what you need to do if your kids are running away from home. The first thing is not to panic. We know that it might be difficult to be in a calm state when your kid is missing, but it’s the only way to clear your mind, especially in a situation like this.

The immediate actions you can do are:

• Checking the alarm. If you do have a monitoring app, you may check when the kid is leaving the house.
• Using a monitoring app, like Eyezy. What is Eyezy? It is the app that helps parents to effectively locate their location. You can have this feature as long as the installation is done properly.
• Go to their favorite places.
• Search their rooms, and check whether they bring any important things with them or not. You may search the room to find a reason why the child running away. Maybe, just maybe, there’s something that they hide from you.

How to stop your child from running away?

After knowing what to do when your child runs away, it’s time for us to learn about how to prevent them to do the same thing in the future:

• First, tell them how to solve their problems. Remind them that every problem has their own unique solution.
• Accept them for what they are, not what they should be.
• Always check your kid’s condition, and try to have a conversation with them.
• Tell them that running away is not a solution. The problem still exists and it needs to be solved.

Conclusion

And that’s what you need to do when your kid is running away from home. We know that this condition will make any parent worried. They will do out of their way to find their kids, in such an emotional state.

So, the first thing we advise here is to be calm. Think about any possibilities. By using the monitoring apps, you may check their locations and expect to find them in the exact spot. Plus, you may also check the kid’s mental state condition by checking their social media, chats, messages, or any other important information.

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It’s even more daunting for new moms– who may not have a clue about what it means when the baby cries uncontrollably or sweats profusely. As for the latter, we all know (hopefully) that fever is not a good thing. It could indicate a health issue that warrants a visit to your family doctor or pediatrician ASAP.

But how do you tell if your child is just ‘normally hot’ or having a fever? Let’s look at some signs to look out for.

Fever in Babies and What It Could Indicate

When your baby has a fever, it’s essential to know the possible causes. An elevated temperature could indicate a common infection like a cold or something more serious, such as ear infections, urinary tract infections, or even meningitis.

Early identification and appropriate medical attention are crucial for your little one’s health and well-being.

In a nutshell, some medical issues a fever might indicate in babies include:

• Colds and flu
• Ear infections
• Urinary tract infections
• Respiratory infections
• Gastroenteritis
• Teething
• Immunization side effects
• Roseola (a viral illness)
• Meningitis

5 Signs Your Child Could Have a Fever (And Needs to Get Checked)

It’s crucial to recognize the signs of fever in your child early on. Here are five key symptoms that should prompt you to get them checked:

1. High Temperature: What Temperature Counts as a Fever in Children?

Remember, fever is the body’s natural response to infection or inflammation. As one of the ways fever manifests, temperature changes can serve as a key indicator of your child’s health status. Fever in children can be identified by a body temperature above normal, which is typically 98.6°F (37°C). Always check with a thermometer for accuracy.

If your baby is under three months and has a temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher, seek medical attention immediately as this could indicate a serious medical issue.

2. Chills and Sweats

Alternating chills and sweating are common signs of fever as the body tries to regulate its temperature. If these symptoms persist despite administering fever-reducing medications or if your child seems unusually distressed, consult a doctor right away.

3. Loss of Appetite

A sick child may refuse meals or show little interest in eating their favorite foods when they have a fever. If this continues for more than 24 hours or is accompanied by dehydration symptoms (such as dark urine), it’s essential to seek medical help promptly.

Keep in mind, a child’s loss of appetite could also result from stress, medication side effects, or other unrelated illnesses, so it’s important to assess the overall health of your child and observe any additional symptoms.

4. Lethargy and Irritability

Fatigue, drowsiness, and increased crankiness could indicate that your child is not feeling well due to a fever. These shouldn’t be so difficult to spot if you’re dedicated to caring for your baby.

Also, watch for persistent changes in mood or energy levels that go beyond typical tiredness, as these signs can help confirm the presence of a fever and may warrant a doctor’s visit.

5. Flushed Skin

Red or warm cheeks are often observed during fever episodes as the body increases blood flow near the skin’s surface to help disperse heat. However, it’s important to verify the presence of a fever with a thermometer and monitor other symptoms closely, as flushed skin alone could be caused by factors like physical exertion or exposure to heat sources.

To sum up, staying vigilant in recognizing signs of fever in your baby or child is critical to ensuring their health and safety. Timely identification of symptoms can lead to early medical intervention, preventing further medical problems or complications from the underlying issue.

Keep a close eye on these indicators, and never hesitate to consult a healthcare professional if you’re concerned about your little one’s well-being. Remember, it’s better to be cautious and proactive when it comes to the health of your child.

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Gun control tactics can include safe storage of your guns and ammunition in your home. You can separate your arsenal by caliber and place it on a rack. Use wall mounts, such as the AR 15 wall mount, to hold your firearm safely away from kids and unauthorized firearm handlers.

In this guide, you’ll learn the firearm safety measures to implement in your household.

1. Assume The Firearm Is Always Loaded

It’s the first point you should communicate to your family members. Instill in them that it’s crucial always to treat a firearm loaded and ready to fire. There’s no turning back when guns discharge a bullet; the result might be fatal.

2. Point The Firearm In A Safe Direction

The most common firearm accidents come from the aimless pointing of the muzzle. It’s probably the most critical rule in firearm safety practices. Never point a gun at anything unless it’s your target and you’re sure it’s threatening your life or that of your loved ones. Don’t be tempted to look inside the muzzle when loading or unloading a firearm.

Aside from going in the wrong direction, a discharged bullet can ricochet in your surroundings. It’s also crucial to note that bullets can break through walls and ceilings and cause damage. So, the recommended direction by the firearm community is up or down in a standing position.

3. Unload The Gun Before Storage

It’s crucial to unload your firearms and possibly dismantle the magazines and ammunition before storage. It’s one of the most proactive ways to protect your family from firearm accidents.

Use lockable storage when you want to keep loaded firearms in your room. It’ll help you avoid accidental gunshot injuries or kids playing around with your arsenal. As a parent, adjusting your behavior around the kids while handling your firearm is also crucial.

Avoid tossing firearms at people, no matter their handling experience. When handing over a gun to anyone, it’s imperative to countercheck the chamber to confirm that it’s not loaded. A simple tap on the trigger can discharge a bullet and cause irreversible damage.

4. Use Correct Ammunition

The firearms market is forever changing, and several products can endanger people’s lives. Remember, there is no universal ammunition that is suitable for all existing firearms. You must consider using the correct bullets designed for the firearm caliber you keep at home. It’ll ensure you avoid firearm accidents, such as misfires, and you can protect your family by loading the correct bullets.

5. Never Test The Trigger When A Firearm Fails To Discharge

Misfiring is one of the common problems that you can experience when using your firearms. It can result from poor firearm maintenance or accidental malfunction. Regardless of the cause, it’s crucial not to test the firearm on yourself or your family members. There’s no undoing what a fired loaded gun can cause, and it can kill instantly.

If you’re using your gun and it fails to discharge a bullet, put it down and unload it completely. Alternatively, you can dismantle it to remove the ammunition loaded in the chamber. Take it to a service center to restore its functionality or stop using it. This will ensure that you safeguard your life and that of those around you.

6. Use Protective Equipment When Using A Firearm

Always use protective equipment if you use your firearm for hunting or sports at the shooting range. It’ll protect your ears and eye from the loud noise a gun makes when used and the metal chippings from bullets discharged.

Avoid taking unnecessary risks by ignoring protective equipment, such as shooting range goggles and earmuffs, when using your firearm. This can affect your hearing ability and eyesight, forcing you to live on medical care for your general well-being.

Conclusion

Firearm safety is not a one-time thing you can do and forget about after. You must continuously refresh your knowledge of firearms and improve your handling skills.

To protect your family, you must adjust your mindset, redesign your home layout, and install safe storage options for your firearm collection. When using your guns, always consider them loaded and point them in the safe direction suggested above. Also, keep your ammunition in a separate, locked place to eliminate the chances of unauthorized arsenal use.

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Parents have the power to influence certain lifestyle drivers of obesity, like being positive role models for physical activity and limiting the quantity of unhealthy foods brought into the home. However, it’s becoming increasingly clear that childhood obesity is more than a familial problem It’s systemic.

Our Environment Fuels Obesity

Numerous factors are driving the rapidly rising rates of childhood obesity. A major contributor is what experts call our obesogenic environment. This milieu fosters weight gain by, for instance, encouraging sedentary behavior and the consumption of ultra-processed foods.

Ultra-processed foods (UPFs) consist of what can best be described as food-like substances and various additives, built around copious quantities of salt, refined sugars, and unhealthy fats. Packaged cookies, cakes, cereals, snack foods and soft drinks are prevalent examples. Children and teen-agers obtain two-thirds of their calories from these manufactured edibles.

Over the past few years, studies investigating UPF’s have yielded consistent results: eating too many of these foods is very bad for your health. Kids’ cravings for UPFs has been tethered to television advertising for decades. Now, social media has jumped on the bandwagon.

Social Media: A Heavyweight Contender

A recent study funded by Canada’s Heart and Stroke Foundation linked young people’s consumption of “junk food” with their involvement in social media. Some of these children spent as much as 8 hours a day in front of their screens, viewing more than 25 million food and beverage ads over the course of the year. Over 90% of these ads were for unhealthy food.

Other research has shown that ads for unhealthy foods, which seamlessly blend advertising for fast food restaurants and manufactured foods like soda with savvy entertainment are disproportionally targeted at Black and Hispanic children and teens. Sadly, they exploit existing inequalities. These include the fact that UPFs are more affordable than nutritious whole foods and more accessible if, like many disadvantaged children, you live in a “food dessert.”

Does the Buck Stop with Mothers?

When children are obese, it’s easy to blame their mothers, who provide the in-utero environment in which they develop and are, most likely, the primary gatekeepers of the food they eat.  Research seems to support this point of view. A recent study published in the medical journal BMJ found that the offspring of women who consumed a high proportion of UPFs beginning in pregnancy and throughout the childrearing period were 26% more likely to develop overweight or obesity.

The fascinating wrinkle to these findings is that the children’s risk was independent of their own consumption of these foods. As these researchers noted, this suggests that vulnerability for unwanted weight gain may be biologically transmitted to offspring. This conclusion aligns with a substantial body of research emerging from the field known as the Developmental Origins of Health and Disease.

The clinical and historical context for what we now call “nutritional programming” was laid out in a 1998 paper by Dr. Alan Lucas. Basically, when a pregnant woman is undernourished, this deficiency “programs” her fetus to make adjustments in key body systems. These changes increase the offspring’s risk for developing conditions like heart disease and obesity by various mechanisms, including altered patterns of gene expression. Moreover, these vulnerabilities can be passed on through the generations.

The High Cost of Cheap Food

Dr. Kent Thornburg, Director of the Center for Developmental Health at the Oregon Health & Science University has linked these weaknesses with the consumption of unhealthy food. Three generations of Americans suffer from high-calorie malnutrition thanks to a diet heavily weighted toward UPFs. The high cost of nutrient-deficient, manufactured food is showing up in the epidemics of chronic diseases like type 2 diabetes and childhood obesity.

Don’t Forget Dad

For biological and societal reasons, it’s easy to blame mothers for children’s problems but that doesn’t mean fathers can slip off the hook. Research shows, for instance, that children with a mother of healthy weight and an obese father are significantly more likely to be obese than children with both parents of a healthy weight.

Fathers’ role in transmitting health risks to offspring has been understudied but more and more research is showing that males influence not only their offsprings’ health but also that of successive generations. In response a new discipline known the Paternal Origins of Health and Disease is springing up.

This work was seeded in the 1980’s when a Swedish epidemiologist Lars Bygren was able to show that males whose grandfathers had overeaten just before puberty died six years sooner than those whose grandfathers experienced famine at the same age. Subsequent research showed that young men who smoked just prior to puberty (when their sperm cells are forming) produced sons who were more likely to be overweight, beginning in adolescence.

Thanks to the science of epigenetics, we are learning that human sperm may carry “biological memories” of abnormalities that can be transferred to offspring. For instance, a 2018 study of more than 40 million births, published in BMJ found that when fathers were older than 45, their babies were 14 percent more likely to be born prematurely and to have a low birth weight. Newborns who weigh less than 6 pounds have been shown to be at increased risk for chronic disease later in life, including obesity and heart disease.

Scientists don’t have all the answers as to why children develop obesity but emerging research suggests we need to be looking well beyond the here and now, which makes it challenging to develop solutions that need to be long-term. Simply stated, there are no quick fixes. However, ensuring that males and females of reproductive age eat a nutritious diet is a good place to start.

So, too, is repairing our food culture. Everyone — men, women and children — needs to reduce our consumption of UPFs. This will require broadly-based social support, from people like public health professionals, government policy makers and school officials.

The high cost of cheap food is a problem that has been brewing for generations. It won’t be fixed in a day.

Selected Resources

Donkin, I. Obesity and Bariatric Surgery Drive Epigenetic Variation of Spermatozoa in Humans. Cell Metabolism 2016.

Khandwala, Y et al. Association of parental age with perinatal outcomes between 2007 and 2016 in the United States: population based cohort study. BMJ 2018.

Lucas, A. Programming by early nutrition: an experimental approach. The Journal of Nutrition 1998.

Pembrey, M, et al. Human transgenerational responses to early-life experience. Potential impact on development, health and biomedical research. Journal of Medical Genetics 2014.

Potvin-Kent, M. Social media Conversations about unhealthy food and beverages in Canada: An analysis of brands frequently marketed to children. The Outlive Lab 2022.

2018. Soubry, A. POHaD: Why we should study future fathers. Environmental Epigenetics 2018.

Thornburg, K The Epidemic of Chronic Disease and Understanding Epigenetics TEDx Talks 2015.

Wang, Y et al. Maternal consumption of ultra-processed foods and subsequent risk of offspring overweight or obesity: results from three prospective cohort studies. BMJ 2022.

Judith Finlayson is a journalist and bestselling author with a longstanding interest in health and nutrition. Her most recent book, You Are What Your Grandparents Ate:  What You Need to Know About Nutrition, Experience, Epigenetics, and the Origins of Chronic Disease, was published in 2019. It has been translated into 6 foreign-language editions, including French, German, Spahis and Japanese.. Visit her at www.judithfinlayson.com. 

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What happens next isn’t so expansive. It’s that moment when you realize a gap exists between where you are and where you want to be. Overwhelm and discomfort set in. Now, you’re faced with a choice; do you stay exactly where you’re at or do you bravely take action to close the gap?

Staying is a conscious decision, the consequences already known and currently living. Stepping forward is a leap of faith, determined by countless efforts to discover the depths of your parenting power. It’s movement toward definitive resources, a grounded choice to live on the edge, releasing control and pushing against the status-quo.

It’s messy and it’s exciting, pulling you toward mystery and innovation. Still need a nudge? With only 38 percent of Americans reporting overall satisfaction, staying stagnant can no longer be a viable option.

Here’s 5 steps to observe the gap and choose your edge.

1. Boldly Question: You’ve acknowledged where you’re at, now what? Ask yourself, “what isn’t working?” This isn’t just about your parenting role, often times what’s happening outside the parent-child dynamic is equally important. Inevitably, if you experience stress in one area of your life, it will fuel overwhelm in another.

Now that you have a list, next to each parenting item, ask yourself “what do I want this to look like instead?” Get specific. If yelling is an area that needs attention, then talking calmly and responding, versus reacting, is an option. I encourage you to think beyond actions and really tap into the energy behind the behavior; “How would you feel during and after?”

2. Forgive the Messy: Completing the first step is a vulnerable process, exposing some of our yuckiest parenting moments. This magnification often invites guilt, and if we’re not too careful, can lead to a downward spiral of shame and self-judgments.

Forgiveness is not about making excuses. It’s about bravely owning your parenting mishaps, and permissively saying, “I don’t have it all figured out and I make mistakes.” You can’t change what already happened, yet your past can inform your future.

Create a container for self-compassion and ask yourself, “what can I learn from this messy moment?” or “how can this information guide me toward the parent I desire to be?”

3. Expand from your Center: This step is deeply personal and invites you to connect with your core, opening the space to ground in self-reflection. 

Ask yourself, “who am I and what kind of parent do I want to be?” Think about this question from the perspective of your identity, how do you want to define yourself, and how do your parenting priorities and personal values align with the parent you desire to be. Like step one, the energy and vibe of what you want to embody is also important.

4. Release and Let Go: It’s time to acknowledge the old and say goodbye. We want to liberate the parenting version of who you were, setting free what no longer serves you.

This isn’t a frivolous act; we want to be intentional in our farewell.

Old templates of how we acted provide valuable information, showing us what may have been necessary at a specific time, or highlighting parenting lessons we needed to learn. For that, we can practice gratitude, thanking the earlier parts of ourselves for playing this role.

When we take a curious approach to what was, we have a greater chance of letting go, no longer harboring resentment, and making room for the new to unfold.

5. Step into Practice: Now that you have a strong sense of the parent you want to be, ask yourself, “What’s needed for me to be the most successful?” The answer will help ground you in your next right action. The answer may require new boundaries, learning to say no, increasing resources, acquiring new skills, or changing a pattern.

Change isn’t easy, so expect some bumps along the way. Part of taking action is course correcting. As you step forward with a new practice, evaluate your efforts. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. Ask yourself, “does my action feel aligned?”

As you close the gap, detach from outside chatter and undue influence. Dare to dream and step into your power as the parent you want to be.

Christina Trujillo Sieren, is an author, speaker, and mom of two. Christina is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice specializing in high-risk adolescents and families. She is the Founder and Lead Coach of Unapparent Parenting, INC., where she provides coaching to parents of teens. Christina supports parents to question mainstream parenting concepts and embrace the messiest of moments, daring parents to re-define their most authentic parenting blueprint from the inside out. Christina is the author of Parenting Teen Girls: A Positive Parenting Approach to Raising Health, Independent Daughters. For more information and to connect with Christina, visit www.christinasieren.com.

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