The thing with wedding planning is that you can’t always estimate just how much each aspect of your wedding will cost in advance. It’s not until you are in the midst of organizing that the precise costs of each aspect becomes known. So before you do anything else, set your budget.

Set The Budget

Before you start planning for your wedding, you should know the definite amount of money you will be working with. Take note of what you have saved up. Talk to the other parties involved like your parents or your better half’s parents and see how much they are contributing. This is the time to ask them to give you specific amounts.

Sometimes families like to finance a specific aspect of the wedding, for example catering for the reception or the venue. In such case, make sure you know which aspect they want to finance and what their budget for those things is.

Katie from Orla James agreed “It’s easy to get carried away with spending when planning your wedding, you budget a certain amount in one area – see something you love twice your budget and slip up. Then other areas end up suffering, you have to be vigilant!”

Make a Priority List

Once you have a budget, you should now start thinking up of all the things you want at your wedding and putting them down in a list. See which of these aspects is the most important to you. It might be catering, or the wedding dress, maybe the venue. Prioritize your list and start affixing a percentage of your budget to each item.

This is perhaps the most important task of budgeting, so take your time. Keep the budget slightly flexible, just enough so that you can spend more on certain things without overshooting your budget, but keep it tight enough so that you never lose control. You can do this by pinpointing your top priorities and giving yourself the option of spending more on them, but adjusting this overspend against things at the bottom of your priority list.

Remember, your budget is meant to help you control your spending. But it should not take away from your wedding either. It is a fine line, one which you have to walk to be successful.

Picking the Right Location and Theme

Some locations and themes are inherently more expensive than others. If you want a grand wedding at a popular ballroom with a five course menu in the middle of London, you can’t really expect to save much money. Compare that to a simple ceremony in the countryside, things are bound to be much cheaper. You could use the saved money from the location and theme on your wedding dress or even on the entertainment. It is all about priorities, and you should know where yours lie.

Guest List Size

Guest lists are directly responsible for a number of your cost heads. Food, drinks, seating, decoration and even venue, all depend on the size of your guest list. In that regard, it is your strongest changeable metric that will directly affect the cost of your wedding. If you are dead set on your menu but it is overshooting its budget, consider a smaller guest list. The knock-on effect will result in you saving money in many aspects. These aspects individually may seem insignificant at the time but together they are quite significant.

Date and Time

When planning your wedding consider the date and time that you want your wedding to be at. You might not think it but there is a wedding season, and during this time everything is much more expensive. Furthermore, an evening function is bound to be more expensive than an afternoon affair, because you save on lighting, food and drinks. Pick a time and date that helps you meet your budget goals.

Staying on Budget

The important thing to realize is that every single dollar is important. You might think that spending an extra dollar per person on catering won’t hurt you, but it will as things start to pile up.

It is best to re-evaluate your budget every once in a while and see if it needs to be adjusted. You might find out that stationary is more expensive than you thought. You could eliminate the cost altogether by switching to email invitations only. Or you could make room in the budget for the increased cost by taking money out of entertainment. It is these kinds of choices that you will be making all the time. Don’t feel pressured, take your time and make the call.

Article by:
Sarah from Orla James dreams of all things wedding ever since the question was popped 6 months ago, now looking at organising her big day, she writes content for wedding blogs. Fortunate enough to live in sunny Worthing, if you want to find her – She’ll be at the beach.

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Here is a comprehensive list of things you or your wedding planner will need to make sure are taken care of before your big day.

9-12 Months

• Select Wedding Date: An engagement isn’t complete without a time-frame for your wedding.
• Hire Wedding Consultant: Find a professional who knows what he or she is doing to guide you through the planning.
• Determine Setting: Figure out the location, theme, number of guests, and the time of day your wedding will take place. This will help you plan the more specific details later on.
• Set Your Budget: Decide how much money you want to spend on your wedding so that you stay on track with how much you’re willing to spend on individual expenses.
• Buy a Daytimer: Have a daytimer to keep track of your planning appointments, events, and payments.
• Select Your Locations: Book your location for your wedding and reception.
• Choose Your Colours: Your colour scheme will help you plan for decorations, flowers, bridesmaid dresses, and tuxes for groomsmen.
• Purchase Your Bridal Gown: Look around and find the right dress for the wedding.
• Obtain Identification: Make sure you have passports and other documentation ready for travel arrangements – and don’t forget your marriage license.

6-9 Months

• Choose Caterer: If you’re planning to have your reception catered, then look around and find one that suits your needs.
• Choose Photographer: Find a wedding photographer that will be able to capture your special day in the best light.
• Select Wedding Party: Choose your closest friends or family members to be part of the wedding party.
• Hand Out Responsibilities: Your wedding party will be able to help you plan the wedding.
• Select Bridesmaid Dresses: Make bridesmaids dresses match your theme and colour scheme.
• Select Other Attire: Find the right attire for the flower girl, mothers of the bride, and groom.
• Choose Musicians: Find and select the musicians for the ceremony and reception.
• Select Videographer: If you want to capture your wedding on video, then you might want to look for a specialized videographer.
• Find a Florist: Your flowers are an important part of your decorations. It’s necessary to find a quality florist that fits within your budget.
• Register Wedding Gifts: By registering at a few stores early, you’ll give your guests lots of time to find you the gifts that you need.

4-6 Months

• Fit The Dresses: Schedule fitting times for all the bridesmaids for their gowns.
• Arrange Prep-Courses: If you want marriage-prep courses, then schedule them early.
• Reserve Rentals: If you’re renting anything for the ceremony or reception, such as audiovisual equipment, then reserve it well in advance.
• Choose a Decorator: If you want a professional decorator, book that professional early.
• Finalize Guest List: Choose the A list and B list for the big event.
• Choose Invitations: Select and order invitations that suit your style and theme.
• Organize Rehearsal Dinner: Set the date, time, and location for the rehearsal.
• Find Accommodations: You’ll want to find a place for you and your partner to stay on the wedding night as well as accommodations for out-of-town guests who are coming to the wedding.
• Start Planning the Honeymoon: Find out options on where you want to go and choose a budget that you’re willing to stick to.
• Shop For Wedding Gifts: Purchase your gifts for your wedding party, parents, and each other.
• Purchase Shoes and Accessories: Find shoes and accessories for the bride, bridesmaids, and groom.
• Order Wedding Bands: Make sure you have the perfect ring to tie everything together.

2-4 Months

• Take Engagement Picture: A formal engagement picture is a wonderful present to send to family members and friends to add to the anticipation.
• Purchase Wedding Cake: Choose a cake that is big enough for your guest list but priced right for your budget.
• Select Decorations: Finalize your decoration choices and purchase them so that you’re ready to go.
• Honeymoon Preparation: Find luggage, suitable clothing, and other odds and ends for your honeymoon.
• Find Transportation: Make sure that you have wedding day transportation for the ceremony, picture-taking location, and the trip to your accommodations afterwards.
• Send Wedding Invitations: Get addresses and stamps ready to send out.
• Trials: Book your wedding day hair and makeup appointment – and give the styles a trial shot, too.
• Obtain Marriage License: Make sure that a marriage license doesn’t expire before the wedding takes place (usually 3 months).
• Select Helpers: You’ll need to choose your ushers, guest-book attendant, MC, and other helpers for your wedding day.
• Photography Permit: Depending on where you’re getting married, you might need a photography permit. If so, make sure you have this permit well in advance.

6-8 Weeks

• Purchase Accessories: Find and select your guest book, toasting glasses, ring pillow, garter, and whatever other accessories you plan to have at your wedding and reception.
• Reserve Tux’s: Make sure that you have everything ready for the groomsmen.
• Rehearsal Invitations: Send out invitations to all who are attending the rehearsal dinner.

2-6 Weeks

• Finalize Catering: Make sure that all the food and drink plans are ready for the wedding and reception.
• Finalize Decorations: Make sure that flowers and other decorations are taken care of.
• Finalize Details: Set a wedding-day plan, official itinerary, and make sure that wedding party each gets a copy.
• Finalize Contacts: If you have yet to receive a response from invited guests, check to see if they are attending the wedding.
• Finalize Vendor Details: Make sure vendors are prepared and set for the wedding day.
• Final Organizations: Decide the order of the head table, the photo checklist, the reception floor plan, wedding and reception seating plans, song selection with the musicians, and any VIP seating.
• Pick Up the Rings: Make sure you have the rings on hand for the ceremony.
• Honeymoon Tickets: Pick up the honeymoon tickets and double-check your plans to make sure everything is organized.

Final Plans

• Arrange Mail Collection: Make sure that your mail will be picked up while you are on your honeymoon.
• Get Organized: Make sure you have everything laid out and packed for the wedding and your honeymoon.
• Rehearse: Make sure the wedding party has everything they need for the big day.
• Enjoy: You are no ready for your wedding day. Have a blast!

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Funny how a diamond can change a woman’s feelings overnight – it’s almost like the gods engineered it that way. It seems that for some lovers, a diamond is much stronger than a love potion.

Because you weren’t sure your lady love would say yes, you held off buying a diamond ring. In the last two weeks, however, she’s been dropping hints – like settling down because she’s tired of the dating scene and that she wants to start hearing the pitter-patter of small feet before her biological clock flies out the window.

You’re lying there, staring at the ceiling, and your gut instincts are saying, “ask her now before she shops somewhere else.” You scratch your head because you don’t know a thing about diamonds; what’s worse you can’t tell between a natural and a synthetic diamond.

Beads of sweat are forming on your forehead because you’re also worried that a small, insignificant rock is going to make you lose a year’s worth of salary. All of a sudden you think of your lawyer because you want to ask him if it’s legal to ask for the ring back if she decides to break up the engagement.

Relax, there’s no hanky panky to buying a diamond. First, talk to your friends who have bought one and decide what kind of budget you’re willing to allocate to this glitzy little thing that’s going to speak oodles of your commitment and undying devotion eternally and indefinitely.

What was that popular expression again – a diamond is forever?

Buying a Diamond: Tuck these Tips In!

Gather opinions

As suggested, talk to your friends and relatives who have bought diamonds for their beloved. Not only will you get a list of reputable jewelers, they may offer a few pointers so you avoid the usual pitfalls of a neophyte.

Fix your budget

Diamonds can cost thousands, even millions of dollars, but they’re certainly not the monopoly of the fabulously wealthy. You need not be filthy rich and notoriously famous to be able to afford a diamond. If you visit two or three jewelry stores downtown and speak to the sales person, you will be shown a wide selection of diamonds with their price tags. Be careful. Some sales persons succeed in getting buyers to “up the ante” so to speak, when they feel that a customer is ready to make a purchase. They’ll appeal to your emotion – as well as remind you that your girl is worth much more than what you have decided to spend. And they’ll dazzle you with the stones – how they give off a prism of light, how they’ll never be scratched, and all that.

And you know what? They know what they’re talking about.

Know thy 4Cs – Make that 5!

The 4Cs relate to color, clarity, cut and carat weight. One diamond expert said that people should add a 5th C – credentials. We’ll talk about the first four:

Color: when grading diamonds, color ranks up there. The most desired diamonds in the world are those that lack color. How does a gemologist test a diamond’s color? He takes the gem, lays it on a black background and exposes it to ultraviolet light. This is the test that will clue you into the fluorescence of the stone. Most diamonds give off a blue hue, but may show tints of brown or yellow. Years ago, the letter A was assigned to rate a diamond’s color but it caused a bit of confusion that the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) decided to step in. They introduced a grading system beginning with the letter D to indicate colorless diamonds up to Z to demonstrate the complete range of diamond colors. This system has remained and is used throughout the industry.

Clarity: a jeweler will use his 10X magnifying glass to inspect the diamond’s appearance based on clarity. No one can do this just using the naked eye. Again, the GIA system of grading diamonds based on clarity is widely in use. People think that clarity shouldn’t be a major issue because they say that if you can’t see it with a naked eye, why worry about it? Perhaps they have a point. But for someone who is in the business of buying and selling diamonds, or simply wishes to put together a small collection, diamond clarity should be a crucial factor in evaluating a diamond. Clarity justifies one’s investment.

Cut: don’t confuse cut with shape. To help you make the distinction, think of cut as the process of converting – or transforming if you will – a rough stone into a beautiful piece of jewelry. Shape, on the other hand, is the actual form of the diamond whether it’s round, rectangular or oval.

There are three basic diamond cuts: the first is the brilliant cut. It has a minimum of 58 facets. If the diamond in the rough (coming out of the mines) has some flaws, a brilliant cut could camouflage them. While brilliant is the most popular cut, a potential diamond buyer would see variations of the brilliant cut. One such variation is what experts call the step-cut – that’s when rectangular is called the emerald cut – the second type of diamond cut. When a cutter combines the step cut and the brilliant cut, the rectangle becomes a radiant cut; and when combined with a square-shaped stone, is called the princess cut.

Innovations have begun to appear in the cutting industry. For example, 57 to 58 facets were the norm in the old days; today there are as many as 144 facets boasted by jewelers and cutters. The number of facets determines the degree of sparkle one gets in a diamond but the prices are steep.

Daniel J. Dennis, Jr. who wrote Gems: A Lively Guide for the Casual Collector (1999) recommends that when you buy a diamond make sure that the cut of the stone is in direct proportion to the shape. His advice: “Look into the stone face-up and check for dead spots visible to the naked eye. Make sure there is adequate depth by examining the stone from the side as well as the bottom. Most essentially, don’t be embarrassed to borrow a jeweler’s loupe for your inspection, if you don’t already have one. Any reputable dealer will be happy to oblige.”

Carat Weight: this is, believe it or not, the least important of the 4Cs, because bigger isn’t necessarily better. (That rule applies only to double whoppers). When buying a diamond, remember this fundamental rule: a smaller but higher quality diamond is more valuable than a larger, inferior quality gem. Pay attention to the first 3Cs, then consider carat weight if you must.

Dennis also says know the difference between a carat and points. One carat is the equivalent of 100 hundred points. Thus half a carat is equal to 50 points. If you had to compare diamonds where their color, clarity and cut were equal, the largest one would hold more value. The author also shares this great piece of advice. Let’s say you’re shopping for a diamond band ring and you’re faced with three choices:

a) choice 1 – has ten stones
b) choice 2 – has twenty-five stones
c) choice 3 – has 50 stones.

Each of them sells for $500.00. They’re all similar in quality. Which one should you buy? If you go with choice 1, bravo, you’ve nailed it!

The Fifth C stands for “Credentials”

In this context, credentials would be the certificates that you request if you’re buying an expensive diamond. Certificates are like legal, binding documents to confirm your investment. Before you sign a check or have your credit card swiped, speak to the jeweler about any certifications that come with the purchase of the diamond. He may present one from the American Gemological Society or Diamond High Council or the Gemological Institute of America. The Diamond High Council is based in Belgium, so there may be other European certifying bodies as well.

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What is it about getting married in Las Vegas anyway? Isn’t it rather contradictory because the sacredness of a wedding goes against what we know about this place? It is a desert city, a monstrosity of one casino after another. It’s a city where the noise and smell of wealth can be pervasive, and yet people like to get married here amidst the rattling of coins and slot machines, and orchestras playing loudly accompanying the singer of the day or the circus of the week.

We suspect that weddings in Las Vegas are popular because people here can do it quickly with the least amount of fuss, and there are wedding packages available for every type of personality – outrageous or toned down, funky or kinky. It’s like wedding organizers in Las Vegas have learned the art of reading your mind. And they do it quite well.

Weddings in Vegas – Still Plentiful

To illustrate just how popular weddings in Vegas have become, we consulted the web site of the County Clerk’s Office in Clark. They keep records of all marriage licenses issued in the state. Look at these figures:

1985 – 59,423 licenses were issued
2006 – 122,259
December 2006 alone – 112,670

Looks like Santa kept the county clerk busy all throughout December. The office issued almost the same number of licenses in December as they did for the entire year!

Since the publicity campaigns for Las Vegas weddings talk about chapels all the time, you wonder if they too keep records of marriages that have taken place. By the way, the proliferation of chapels should not mislead you into thinking that there are no churches in the state. Las Vegas does have a diocese and a handful of churches. For some reason, however, the chapels are the ones that get the most attention.

There are about a dozen chapels that have “cute” and endearing names, and one that appears to be a favorite of Hollywood celebrities is the Little White Wedding Chapel located on the strip. Many people refer to it as the drive-thru tunnel of vows.

Maybe getting married in Las Vegas is, after all, like going to an A&W drive thru for a tall glass of root beer.

Want a Wedding in Vegas? – Get that License Pronto!

We’ll help you obtain that license by providing a few guidelines for you. The first factor is age, and this is made clear by the county clerk’s office. You have to be at least 18 years old. If you’re younger than 18 and still want to get married, you need your parent or legal guardian to file an application on your behalf.

Second, let’s hope your future spouse is not your first cousin. The county clerk will allow second cousins marrying, but first cousins are definitely out of the question. You and your future spouse should be single and not have any living husband or wife somewhere.

The application fee for a license is US$55.00 and they request exact change please. No blood test or waiting period is required once the license is issued. The license is valid for one year; when that time lapses and you haven’t married yet, you’ll need to apply for another license.

Although you can apply for a license online, it does not mean your physical presence is not required. The online application is only intended to facilitate the application process – what this means is that you and your spouse (form must be filled in by both bride and groom) fill the online application, print it, and then take it with you to the county clerk’s office. The address is:

Marriage Bureau
County Clerk’s Office
201 Clark Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada
89155-1603
Telephone: 702-346-1867

The office is sometimes deluged with applications and there are waiting lines (they are open till midnight 7 days a week!), so they recommend that marriage license applicants obtain their license as soon as possible, and not wait till the last minute.

Is it for You?

Again, the answer to that question will have to come from you alone. If you’re bent on tradition and think of your wedding as a very sacred event, then come to Las Vegas anyway to enjoy the shows and the casinos, but not to get married. Arrange your wedding in your own hometown or that of your spouse.

Are you open to trying something unconventional and non-traditional? Then a wedding in Vegas might be your cup of tea. The novelty of it could keep the conversation alive for many, many years.

One advantage of a wedding in Vegas is its affordability. Susan Breslow Sardone said that your typical traditional US wedding would cost about US$22,000.00, but in Las Vegas you could get married for a few hundred dollars, unless of course you want to book an entire casino, a full-fledged band, and a famous singer.

Another twin advantage is time and convenience. It is usually not necessary to book a chapel ahead of time, although reservations are strongly encouraged, especially if you want to get married on a special American holiday. And since Las Vegas is known to be a honeymoon destination, another plus is that you don’t have to travel far for your honeymoon because Las Vegas has plenty to offer in terms of sightseeing and entertainment.

No matter how attractive it all sounds, a wedding in Vegas does have its downside. First, you can’t really personalise it to the minute detail, as you would for a traditional wedding that’s planned 12 months in advance. You won’t be able to pick colors, argue with your photographer, order a special appetizer from Tunisia, or fly in some tulips from Holland. You’ll have to give your nod of approval to the standard Vegas wedding package which may have elements that are not to your liking.

There’s also the lack of intimacy and privacy – what Susan Sardone calls the conveyor belt mentality. Some hotel-casinos in Las Vegas have more than one chapel, and the arrangements cater to the assembly line approach where every little activity is synchronized, before your wedding party gets whisked away to accommodate the next one.

Despite these disadvantages, though, Las Vegas is a town that’s alive and kicking. It may not have the traditional touch, but you can rent everything for your wedding – from tuxedos and gowns to shoes!

You must admit: there’s got to be a small price to pay for all the fun, convenience and dazzling shows that await you – including having someone officiate at your ceremony who’s an Elvis look-alike. That’s certainly something to tell your grandchildren about, no?

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One fear of many brides is to be the ‘‘friend that chose the most hideous bridesmaid dresses.’’ Many dresses from the late eighties and early nineties have brides from those eras cringing at their choices. What will always be stylish are the simple yet elegant, streamline dresses that are neither to frilly nor too lacy; currently, A-line gowns offer that choice for bridal attendants. If you are afraid that you are going to pick out an ugly dress, ask a few bridesmaids to go with you to help with the decision, or look at dresses online, send links to your friends via email, and poll them on their favorite style. Or, for a hands-off approach to selecting a dress, just pick a dress color and length, and tell your bridesmaids to select their own dresses within your general guidelines (this would work best for colors such as black or champagne, but may not work well with colors like pink that have a broad spectrum of shades).

Black is a classic bridesmaid dress color, and neutrals like taupe and sand are popular as well. Neutral colors have a timeless look, so if you’re worried about choosing a ‘dated’’ dress, opt for neutral shade. Deeper colors like burgundy, purple, or hunter green are suitable for fall, whereas paler shades like light yellow, lilac, or soft pink are fitting for spring. When choosing a color, think about the skin tone and hair color of your bridesmaids, and try to pick a color that would be universally flattering. While it may be tough to find a color that will look great on everyone, you certainly do not want your pale-skinned, blonde friend to wear a pale yellow dress she’’ll be completely washed out!

Selecting a dress that is, at the very least, flattering, will help your bridesmaids cope with the money that they will most likely be spending on the dress. With weddings costing more than ever, many couples are unable to afford to pay for the attire of their attendants, so bridesmaids and groomsmen are left to foot the bill for dresses and tuxedos. It is now common practice for the attendants to pay for their own attire, but this does not mean that financial help goes unappreciated. The cost of a dress, shoes, shower gifts, wedding gifts, airfare, and hotel rooms can become outrageous for a bridesmaid, so if you can, try to help with some of the expenses. Some brides, instead of paying for the bridesmaid dresses, will pick up the hotel bill for the bridal party members. Others will split the cost of the dresses. Make sure to order the dresses around six months in advance to allow ample time for delivery and dress alterations.

Some brides make an extra effort to select a bridesmaid dress or outfit that will be reusable in the future. For a less formal wedding, a long skirt and sweater makes a great bridesmaid outfit, and the mix-and-match pieces can later be integrated into the maid’s wardrobe. Simple dresses can usually be worn again more often than sequined or embellished dresses. For the bridesmaids who have a few dresses in the back of their closets and never intend to wear them, take the dresses to a resale shop you may be able to sell them for a bit of cash. There are also places out there where you can donate a bridesmaid dress to be given to low-income high school kids who cannot afford new prom dresses.

Try to remember amid all the chaos of choosing a bridesmaid dress that these women are your friends; when you look back on your wedding day, you’ll care less about how they looked and more about how they felt. You have the ultimate decision making power, but really, listen to their feelings and opinions about bridesmaid dresses, and try to compromise. Make sure that you communicate with all of your bridesmaids whether by phone or email so that everyone feels connected to the choice and involved in the wedding. Once the dresses are chosen, you can move on to the really fun things like the bridal shower and best of all’…the bachelorette party!

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Reasons for running away to get married include being prevented to get married because of age, skin color, or parental non-consent. Eloping also entails running away to a state where blood tests are not required.

One reason that couples cite for their desire to elope is to be wed in private minus the hoopla of an extravagant wedding. When they realize that people other than themselves are calling the shots for their future wedding, they decide to escape to save their own skins.

Planning to Run Away to Get Married?

Planning to run away to get married is like planning to get married the usual way, except that this time you’re doing it ‘Incognito’. If you decide eloping is the best solution then some planning is called for. We generally don’t recommend it because it’s always good to share something special with at least a few friends and family.

The first step is to clearly establish that running away to get married is a mutual decision, and that no one is forcing it on the other. We can’t emphasise this enough. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where your current better half is itching to get married secretly because of a wish to escape from a previous marriage or a criminal conviction.

The decision to elope is not done on a whim. it’s not like saying, ‘hey, let’s drive 1000 miles today and see where that will take us.’” This is a temporary adventure a fling but eloping is an event you’ll have to live with the rest of your life. If you don’t know your better half well enough background ambitions schooling and career credit history eloping can be a very messy undertaking.

Second, eloping does not mean you have to exclude your special friends. You can still elope with only a handful of people you choose and have a simple ceremony in city hall. In some parts of the US and Canada, eloping to get married is possible only if you can produce a marriage license and two witnesses.

The third step is to fix your budget and then pick a place to get married. Find out if the state or province you want to get married in requires blood tests or a waiting period. As you know, blood tests are required in a few areas to make sure that one of you is not suffering from a venereal disease. The county clerk will inform you if these are required.

You will need an officiate. The officiate should be able to issue the marriage license as well.

Talk has it that Las Vegas is a popular destination for eloping couples. So is Arizona. Some couples have even eloped to Europe. Be careful though about being wed on foreign soil. The marriage licence, if obtained in another country, may not be recognized or accepted by your own country. Check this little detail out.

A story in a celebrity gossip magazine said that British TV stars Ashley Jensen and Terence Beesley were wed in secret in the forest of Big Sur, California. They said they decided to elope because they didn’t want to worry about napkins. On hand assisting the couple was the family dog who also served as ring-bearer. The minister supposedly took care of all other arrangements. A marriage in a jiffy, by the looks of it.

Does Eloping Run in Families?

We have no scientific proof to say yes, but you sometimes wonder. We don’t want to make it sound like eloping is an incurable disease, but if you seriously think about it, we all like to run away once in awhile. Our parents may have done it as well. After all, eloping is defined two ways: one – to run away from one’s spouse with a lover or to run away to get married in secret; two – to slip away or to escape.

Rebecca T. Godwin’s story has nothing to do with running away to get married. She just ran away to go to the dance with her boyfriend. She was fifteen then, the story goes, and her father had nailed her windows shut so she couldn’t escape. He was angry with her for going to the circus with her gang instead of staying home to do school work so he grounded her with nails on her sill! Somehow, she managed to pry open the windows and she jumped right out and headed for the dance. On her way to the dance, there was a strong downpour that got her soaking wet. She couldn’t show up in the dance looking like she had just gotten out of the pool with her fancy clothes and spiked heels so she went back home. Unable to get back in through her window, she rang the doorbell. Her father came to the door and gave her a tongue lashing.

Now this story would be any other story, but there’s some irony attached to it. Fifty years later, Rebecca herself had to nail down the windows of her father’s bedroom in the care facility because he had a record for escaping, and the staff were at their wit’s end trying to pin him down.

Going back to the question about eloping running in families: well, if you have enough stories similar to Rebecca’s to create an anthology, you could say that elopement does run in families. If you did some running away while you were younger and then decades later struggle to keep one of your parents from escaping their health care facility, then it’s like going full circle. Believe it or not, there’s such a thing as the National Institute for Elopement Prevention and Resolution which was established in 2001. it’s based in Topeka, Kansas. Their mission? To help family members understand the psychology of elopement and why patients escape from a health facility.

Essentially, therefore, elopement can mean something else, and just does not mean running away to get married. In fact, if there was a need to establish such an institute like the Kansas one, it probably indicates that eloping from one’s caregivers takes on more significance than eloping to get married.

Not that we’’re suggesting that you plan on running away twice in your life: the first time to get married (stage 1) and the second to escape from your health institution while in your golden years (stage 2).

We stumbled upon a book called the Elopement Everything Book: Avoid the Wedding Chaos (2004) written by Shelly Hagen. It talks about how to avoid the hassles and time-consuming logistics of planning a big, organized event. It shows couples how to say NO to an extravaganza that their parents want to stage. Couples who don’t want to dole out chunks of money just for a wedding may find this book helpful. It provides tips on passports and marriage licenses, budget planning, breaking the news to friends and family, throwing a small party when they return and settling into married life. And where can you get a copy? We saw it on Amazon.com. Do read the customer reviews first.

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Some men would probably say the Yankees Stadium in New York would be their top choice, while some women would pick a shopping area where is no tax to pay or a spa where they can have a facial every day.

It takes two to tango, and if Argentina tango night clubs don’t appeal to you, then that country could hardly be called a romantic honeymoon location for most, unless they’’re diehard tango fans. Very erotic dance by the way, tango is.

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Our personal choice would be a place no matter in what country it is where we could play tennis, swim and go for long walks. We would pick a sportive honeymoon over all others simply because we can’t envision ourselves to be romantically looking at the sunset and collecting sea shells on the sea shore 10 hours a day.

If we were born with an ounce of a poetic nature, then we’’d probably choose a place that is inspiring and would motivate us to write poetry. We think the Canadian Rockies would be a sublime spot for poets but not everyone can digest rocks for long periods of time. And if you have a religious bent, then Lourdes in France would probably appeal to you. If you’re the intellectual type, we know of some universities around the world that could serve as a a ‘learning honeymoon’” site, if there was ever such a thing. They offer courses on Medieval History and Archeology if you enjoy these subjects complete with board and lodging plus daily excursions to historic places.

You don’t have to go honeymooning in the most popular destinations like Italy or Hawaii; some folks we know would rather take the road less travelled so that their honeymoon would be more in line with their temperaments and preferences.

Before we name some actual favorite destinations, we’’ll give you some tips on how to prepare for that idyllic honeymoon:

• the honeymoon destination must be agreed upon mutually. Man and woman must have an equal chance to choose. How do you agree? The two of you must write down your top 3 choices for a honeymoon. Your choices will have to depend on your finances, the activities you want to engage in, and whether you prefer a hotel, a campsite, or be out in the wild;
• once you’’ve narrowed down your choices, do your research. Your research must cover: weather and timing, visa and passport requirements, vaccinations, accommodations, Internet and phone service (you likely will not have access to emails if you choose a remote location), car rental, sightseeing options, equipment rental, and whether there are any specific travel advisories from the Department of Foreign Affairs;
• make sure your credit cards are NOT maxed out and that they are accepted in the country you’re going to. You may want to have cash and travellers cheques as well in case you misplace your cards or your cash is stolen. You might want to consider doing a wire transfer in advance;
• decide what clothes and footwear you will need. Make allowances for sudden drops in temperature or for extraordinarily hot days;
• ask if bottled water is available. In this day and age, most countries have bottled water. The only reason we bring this up is you might be heading straight for the mountains where bottled water is more scarce.

Top Romantic Honeymoon Locations

These six romantic locations are not based on any scientific study or popularity polls. Because the choice of a honeymoon spot is a very personal affair, there will be some people who will not necessarily agree with these places as the ideal spot – either because of an unpleasant past experience or because they know of other places more enticing.

Panama – This place would appeal to beach lovers. Panama has stretches and stretches of white sandy beaches. If you get tired of one beach, you simply go to the next one. Weather is great, the US$ is the country’s currency. Many retirees and investors choose Panama because the cost of living is not prohibitive and the people are one of the warmest around. In fact, people who visit Panama want to remain and not go back to their country. Panama offers a very relaxed way of life. Good food too.

Jamaica – You wouldn’t think this tropical country has a vibrant night life but it does! And if you’re into forests, the greenery of the country is amazing. You can take a bamboo raft and explore caves and waterfalls. Check out Ocho Rios and join a plantation tour or blue mountain tour.

Bahamas – A place so close to the US but so different in character. it’s not a playground just for the super wealthy because it caters to as many budgets as possible. Explore any one of the country’s 700 islands. The beaches are magnificent. For eco-adventurers, the Bahamas should be on your list. Marine life is abundant.

Italy – Country brimming with love and music. If you two lovebirds are really into each other and want to explore a different angle of love or experience a unique romantic hideaway, then Italy is for you. Not only will it satisfy your romantic cravings, but it will also satisfy your palette and your love for fine wine. Two friends highly recommend Sorrento, a small city of about 16,000 inhabitants. Amalfi Drive is not to be missed, if you like to live ‘on the edge’” of the Mediterranean cliffs!

England and Ireland – And why not? London, England is by far one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world and if you love theatre hopping and pub crawling, then England would be more than delighted to cater to you. If your bride likes to shop, Harrods is in London. While she’s busy spending your money, you may want to sneak off to Ireland for a relaxing round of golf. Some of the best Irish courses are around Dublin, by the way.

Monaco – If money is no object and you want to rub knees with the rich, you’ll want to jet over to Monaco and skip Beverly Hills for the time being. There used to be a saying that Monaco’s streets are paved in gold we don’t know if that’s true but the place certainly smells of phenomenal family fortunes. Plenty of celebrities come to live in Monaco to avoid the oppressive taxman in their countries; in Monaco you don’t get penalized for being loaded. Prefer ballet and the opera? No problem. Monaco’s Salle Garnier boasts of top of the line entertainment!

Okay, lovebirds, live and let live!

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If you are a bride to be than obviously, you want to be able to pick things out for your home. At the same time, you have to realize that picking out fine china just because it is new and shiny when you have perfectly fine dishes at home is sort of a waste. How often do you plan to entertain? If you pick out every small appliance known to man, are you going to have room in your home to store it all or is it going to sit in boxes cluttering up the garage? Is new silver ware, sheets, towels and a wine cooler really going to make your marriage that much more comfortable? Brides should be considerate when making their bridal registries that other people will be paying for this often-senseless shopping spree and that in the end they are going to be left with all the stuff to shuffle around. It stands to reason, that choosing wisely and being as economical and thrifty with other people’s money as you would be with your own is something that should be done in good consciousness.

If you are making your bridal registry make sure you do it with your groom-to-be as well. Go for things that can be bought in sets and try to avoid picking out the most expensive items because they are brand name or top of the line. By all means, if you already have a mixer and a can opener, don’t put another one on the list just for the sake of having something less expensive for people to choose from. Even though the football shaped crock pot cheese dip cooker is a novel and fun idea, you like the millions of others who put it on their registry will NOT use it! Think about what you need for your life ahead and make things as simple for yourself as you can. So many brides talk about being embarrassed at their bridal showers with such lavish gifts and the truckloads of stuff that they have to have carted off when it’s over. Does anyone really need that much stuff? The worst part is they are the ones that picked it all out! The people in the store who are helping you with their sweet and encouraging voices are schemers who are simply trying to turn a profit for their store. A bridal registry would be much more useful if instead of being walked through Crate and Barrel with a sales/wedding consultant, you were walked through Wal-Mart with a wife and mother of three kids. She’s the one who could really help you get what you need for married life! Your registry would be stuffed with huge stocks of toilet paper, paper plates for those nights you don’t want to cook, trash bags and laundry detergent. Not romantic, but useful nonetheless.

The tradition of bridal registries originated decades ago when people getting married were literally moving from the home they grew up in to a modest new home with their mate. These couples literally had nothing but hand me down furniture and tattered towels and were bestowed silver ware and grandma’s pots and pans so that they could prepare a meal together. With such modest beginnings, couples learned to work together and look forward to gathering the things they wanted in their life together. Most importantly, they learned to get by with less and be grateful for the things they did have. This gave them time to focus on one another and of the building of a life that should be marriage. Nowadays, many couples have already set up house somewhere else and already have ample things to fill up at least one new house together (if not two or three) and a bride to be feels neglected if she is forced to move into a used home without a dishwasher and just one bathroom. It is obvious that necessity and desire have somehow become combined in the eyes of most new couples.

The irony is that today all these marriages who have so much stuff; fail miserably in comparison to those marriages that started out with nothing! Food for thought at least. Bridal registries can be a great way to give you and your partner a jump-start on life. You can begin to acquire things as a couple that will lend a hand in your marriage and home, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to impulse shop or act like a spoiled premadonna who just cant bear the thought of life without a Kitchen Aid mixer. After all how many 12-egg pound cakes do you really plan on cooking?

The last thing to consider before you make your bridal registry is the underlying tone that you are setting for your marriage. There is an insightful school of wisdom that believes the acquiring and hoarding of stuff in our lives is an unhealthy habit that displays our lack of security and trust in our own future. We think in terms of one day we will need this, or one day we will want that, or one day this will come in handy- with the unfaithful assumption that when ‘one day’ comes if we don’t get it now, we will not have all we need. The same is true for having a garage full of boxed up gifts you never use, but you just can’t get yourself to pass on or return to the store. The wisdom of thought proceeds to indicate that by holding on to everything and storing useless things in our garages, homes, cars, cabinets or minds for that matter, we are not leaving any space for the things we do really need in life. We are not leaving space for our future. Somehow, it should become apparent to brides-to-be that when it comes to bridal registries; less really is more!

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Gay individuals feel as though they should already know what to expect. After all, they’’re supposed to be part of this community, right? Straight people fear making fools of themselves, as if there’s some secret code the lesbian and gay community operates by, and they fear they might not have the password to get in the door. Relax. it’s not all that difficult. After all, the gay community is made up of people, people who love, honor, want, dream, hurt, cry, and bleed just as the straight community. don’t be scared, be honored that you have been invited to share in something as sacred as the exchange of loving vows between two committed people who want to make a life for themselves.

One of the greatest misconceptions about gay and lesbian individuals is that we all fit into some preconceived mold, and so our weddings must be really out there. it’s just not that way. We are as unique as anyone else, and there is no standard for a gay wedding, other than we would like to see them legalized everywhere so that we can protect the people we love.

Some gay and lesbian couples basically follow the same traditions as the straight communities, with engagement rings, flower girls, and best friends to stand beside them. Sometimes, when dealing with a purely lesbian wedding, both women will wear gowns while sometimes one will wear a gown and the other a tuxedo. This doesn’t really mean anything more than often the one in a tuxedo isn’t comfortable in dresses and the other one is. There is a difference between transgendered and gay. Sometimes in a gay wedding, one man will wear a tuxedo while the other will wear a gown, but this is rare, and more likely to happen in transgendered weddings. it’s not uncommon for gay and lesbian weddings to follow the same basic path of a straight ceremony.

Alternatively, you will find some gay and lesbian couples that completely and totally reject anything that has to do with the straight community. After all, we have to fight so hard for acceptance that often it can be healthier if we create our own traditions and our own way of doing things. Many gay couples will reverse the fingers that rings are worn on, trade in customary wedding garb for something more to their liking, and even perform ceremonies that don’t resemble the straight community in any form or fashion.

Most gay and lesbian couples arrange for something along the lines of a compromise. The only thing you can expect when attending a gay wedding for the first time is not really knowing what to expect. Even when tradition seems to reign over the ceremony, there is really nothing usual about a gay wedding.

Many straight people are usually clearly taken aback by their own level of emotion when they attend a gay wedding for the first time or the hundredth time. Unlike straight weddings, gay weddings tend to bring forth a great deal of witness emotion that I clearly expressed and even overpowering. This is often because, while we all understand the straight wedding, most of us don’t understand the gay wedding until we witness it. And it is a powerful thing to witness, considering that above everything else, a gay wedding reminds us exactly why two people marry in the first place. Once, the battle raged over interracial weddings. Now, with gay weddings such a hot topic, many people have forgotten that smack dab in the middle of that controversy are two people who love each other more than life, who want the very same things as everyone else. When you witness the exchange of this type of unpopular love succeed in the face of discrimination, whether you are gay or straight, you can’t help but be overpowered by the dignity and grace it takes for these two very special people to face the world together, to hang on the one thing that keeps all of us sane in the face of unsatisfactory conditions; love. These are the things that make us pledge to the underdog and hope for the impossible dreams. These are the same things we all want, regardless of our sexual orientation or our lack thereof.

As you proceed to watch this magical event, your fears will abate and you’ll realize that you had the secret password all along. If there is anything unusual or that strays too far from tradition, there is usually an explanation of events or someone to follow, but the only thing that really matters when you attend a gay wedding for the first time is that you attend with love and acceptance in your heart, and an honest wish for the happy couple to make it in this very difficult but beautiful world.

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“How sweet it is to be loved by you”

Next to the bride’s wedding dress, the wedding cake makes for a great conversation piece. Depending on how high it is and how regal – and some cakes do look majestic – people will likely make a comment or two. “Did you see the way the doves were perched above and how they didn’t even leave footprints on the icing?” “How do they freeze this tower, anyway?” “How many hours do a layer make?”

The wedding cake adds to the décor and is a good dessert to replace the calories after heavy eating and vigorous disco dancing. It goes well with champagne too!

Most of all, however, the wedding cake is the symbol of fertility. Make your wedding a rich display of symbols by paying close attention to cake details. You’ve got to hand it to the expert baker. What splendor his hands can weave out of all that flour and sugar!

As Symbolic as Ever

Rituals have staying power. We can chuckle about them and make fun of them but they have a way of lingering in our psyche, and finding expression during those special moments in our lives. Symbols – whether they be wedding cakes, Easter bunnies or mistletoes at Christmas – predominate in our lives. Rituals are here to stay, like it or not, because they hold symbolic meaning.

The wedding cake symbolizes fertility and prosperity. The traditionally accepted practice is for the bride to have the first bite; otherwise, she’d be childless and barren. There’s a time during the reception when the bride will cut the cake, and again, there is a standard practice for this segment: the husband should place his hands over the bride’s (we’re talking about the knife that’s going to cut the cake, nothing else). The cake should be cut from the bottom layer and never at the top, unless you’d like a replica of the leaning tower of Pisa. After the bride cuts the cake and both she and her groom have had their bites, the cake is quickly wheeled over to the kitchen so that it gets sliced into portions for the guests.

Wedding Cake Costs

Like wedding goblets and favors, wedding cakes have a price range. Your little community baker around the corner can provide cake slices at a dollar per head. It will, however, be a packaged recipe, which you want to avoid because there will be guests at your reception who will certainly know the difference between a cake made out from a cake mix box and one that’s been baked from scratch and finished and decorated to perfection.

In large cities, you will surely find some refined pastry shops and high-priced bakers, and you could be looking at $8.00 to $10.00 per head. You’ll notice the quality right away, though. The primary and secondary ingredients are fresh, and hence the cake tastes better.

Cost, then, would depend on three factors:

• Quality of ingredients
• Labor involved
• Number of guests to be served

Speaking of the labor involved in “manufacturing” a wedding cake, have you seen some cake samples? Pardon the adolescent expression but they’re “outta this world” and simply “awesome.” Some of them look like they’re harder to build than the Tower of London or the Sears Tower, some of them look like gift boxes with ornate ribbons, fragile petals and make-believe drapes. Some cakes are shaped like hearts with the daintiest of flowers surrounding them, still others look like the Pyramids of Egypt with large bows and colorful ribbons marking each layer. The more intricate designs are a sight to behold. You wonder how much talent you need to make a wedding cake, because it does take brawn and brains.

Wedding Cakes for the Budget-Conscious

Beautiful cakes are a welcome treat in any reception because they are natural attention-getters. There is no law, however, that says a simple wedding cake just won’t cut it (no pun intended). Any cake will do, of course, because you don’t want one that will break the bank.

There are ways of saving on wedding cake costs: you can ask the baker to use the more expensive ingredients for the main cake, and the portions that are handed out to the guests can be made of less costly ingredients. If you have a good cake, you can skip a second dessert. Let the cake be the dessert. Or else, serve the cake as the main dessert, and order a less expensive second dessert. You can also scale back on the accessories and the trinkets. They seem like trivia items, but they do add up. Some wealthy couples have cake toppers in the form of expensive monograms, a special gem-studded design, or a word/phrase with precision-cut numbers and letters. All these cost a heap.

Ordering Them

Timing is probably your # 1 consideration for your wedding cake. Order it three months before the wedding date, much earlier if you’re getting married during popular wedding months (May, June, July, August and September) or if your baker is in demand.

If you have invited 100 guests to the reception, don’t give that number to your baker because he will make a cake that will serve 100-115 guests. Be generous when giving headcount, but you must also tell your baker what the specific size should be for guests. You don’t want to serve a “wimp” of a cake to show you were saving on portions, nor would you like a “big Mac” slice.

Flavors – for this aspect, you have a wide selection. Some like butter, some prefer chocolate. Others will order a no-flour cake. You can also order different flavors for each cake layer – raspberry, chocolate, vanilla, or lemon. Or go for the cheese cake or the Italian chocolate mousse one.

In finalizing details with your baker, you may want to ask him if you could taste a sample. Some bakers will be gracious enough to offer you slices without you requesting it, while others put on a tight lip when asked.

You can also ask your baker if your cake will be fresh or frozen. With the price you’re paying, you’d want your cake to be as fresh as possible. Some bakers, for logistics purposes, bake the layers early and put them in the freezer, and take them out only when it’s time to decorate.

Finally, ask if delivery and “installation” will cost extra. Unless it’s a small cake, you wouldn’t want to be a do-it-yourselfer for this particular task. It takes a pro to deliver a cake and set it up properly on the table – especially if it’s a cake with multiple layers or a spiral staircase or imposing pillars and columns. As to the specific delivery time, there’s a bit of a risk if your cake is delivered two hours before the reception and it will be sitting alone and uncared for. Someone could accidentally hit it making it topple over.

Oh, by the way, get all cake details in writing.

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