Pregnancy - Joys of Having a Baby https://www.professorshouse.com/category/family/pregnancy/ Wed, 22 Nov 2023 18:07:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://www.professorshouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/cropped-android-chrome-512x512-1-32x32.png Pregnancy - Joys of Having a Baby https://www.professorshouse.com/category/family/pregnancy/ 32 32 How Can You Live Out Your Dream of Helping Others Get Pregnant? https://www.professorshouse.com/how-can-you-live-out-your-dream-of-helping-others-get-pregnant/ https://www.professorshouse.com/how-can-you-live-out-your-dream-of-helping-others-get-pregnant/#respond Wed, 22 Nov 2023 18:07:54 +0000 https://www.professorshouse.com/?p=1043753 Helping others to get pregnant might have been your dream for a while, especially if you have a family yourself and want other people to be able to experience this joy. It can be difficult to take the steps that you need to do this, though, and you might find that others try to put […]

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Helping others to get pregnant might have been your dream for a while, especially if you have a family yourself and want other people to be able to experience this joy. It can be difficult to take the steps that you need to do this, though, and you might find that others try to put you off or that you even talk yourself out of doing so. However, it’s still possible to achieve this dream for yourself, so you should read on to find out what you can do to turn this into a reality.

· Know the Reasons Why

Before you do anything else, it’s important that you realize and recognize why you want to help others to get pregnant. This will ensure that you’re not just doing it because of a past trauma or to fill a gap in your life.

Your reasons should be mostly self-sacrificial. Rather than just wanting to help others to get pregnant because it would make you feel good, you should want to help others who are in need and who would make excellent parents. You might also want to help others to get pregnant because some of the people that you know and love were unable to fall pregnant and you might have been unable to aid them at the time. By knowing the reasons why you want to do this, you’ll be able to find the right method for you and will also ensure that your dream doesn’t negatively affect your mental health in the future.

· Become a Donor or Surrogate

Once you know that you’re doing this for the right reasons, you should then consider whether you want to become a sperm or egg donor or whether you want to be a surrogate. Egg and sperm donation are quicker practices that require less commitment, while still helping families to progress on their fertility journeys. However, surrogacy can help you to feel like a bigger part of the picture and can allow you to play an extremely active part in someone else’s quest for a baby.

If you want to become a donor, you’ll need to get assessed and, if surrogacy is on the cards, you’ll need to find an organization that can talk you through things and support you during the process.

If you’re uncertain how you’re able to become a surrogate mother and how it all works, you should consider speaking to one of these organizations today. They’ll be able to give you all the information that you need to know, including details about the financial compensation that you’ll receive.

· Think About What’s Right for You

You should also take some time to think about what’s right for you, though, and you should always put yourself first in this situation, as it’ll be your body that’s the most affected by the process.

For instance, surrogacy can be demanding emotionally for a lot of people, and this might not be a good choice for someone who has struggled with mental health issues in the past. However, it could be the right decision for women who love being pregnant and who want to create a genuine relationship with the people that they’re helping.

In terms of sperm and egg donation, this could be great for those who don’t have a lot of time and who want to help LGBTQ couples to conceive without changing up their lifestyle or career too much.

· Get as Healthy as Possible

Before you can achieve your dream, though, it’s likely that you’ll need to take steps to become as healthy as you possibly can. For instance, you should make sure that you’re maintaining a healthy weight, that you eat well and exercise often, and that you don’t have pre-existing health conditions or a difficult medical history that could impact your ability to help others.

This is because there are certain criteria that you need to meet if you’re going to become an egg or sperm donor, and you’ll be able to increase your chances of being accepted if you’re in good shape and have a healthy outlook on life. This is the same with surrogacy, especially since you need to be strong enough to be able to carry a child to full term and minimize the risk of complications.

· Choose the Right Time

You might have constantly put your dream off because it never seems to be the right time. However, instead of waiting for the right time to come along, you need to choose a time that will suit you. For instance, you might decide to pursue your dream when your career is in a fallow period or when your kids have started high school or college. By doing this, you won’t have to put your life on pause for much and you’ll be able to give your life purpose when you need it most.

Once you’ve chosen the right time, you can make a plan for the future. By making a plan, you will be much less likely to change your mind, and you will always be able to refer back to this plan to guide you through the next steps and to ensure that you know what you need to do.

· Focus on Your Family First

Although your dreams are important, it is vital that you focus on your own family before the one that you are helping to create, or else you might be negating the point of helping others to bring children into their lives.

For instance, you should make sure that your kids’ needs are met, that you still spend a lot of time with them, and that you explain to them what is happening. You should also make sure that you have arranged childcare for them and that you show them the love and affection that they deserve instead of being constantly wrapped up in your situation and your determination to help others to have what you have.

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How to Boost Your Fertility: Effective Meditation and Relaxation Techniques https://www.professorshouse.com/how-to-boost-your-fertility-effective-meditation-and-relaxation-techniques/ https://www.professorshouse.com/how-to-boost-your-fertility-effective-meditation-and-relaxation-techniques/#respond Sun, 30 Jul 2023 20:13:57 +0000 https://www.professorshouse.com/?p=1042977 Take a fresh perspective on pregnancy planning! Your health and emotional balance play a crucial role in this process. Now, envision how simple practices of meditation and relaxation can become your faithful companions on this exciting journey. Forget about stereotypes! Meditation isn’t about complex poses and mysterious mantras. It’s a tool for connecting with yourself, […]

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Take a fresh perspective on pregnancy planning! Your health and emotional balance play a crucial role in this process. Now, envision how simple practices of meditation and relaxation can become your faithful companions on this exciting journey.

Forget about stereotypes! Meditation isn’t about complex poses and mysterious mantras. It’s a tool for connecting with yourself, reducing stress, and finding inner peace. Relaxation allows you to let go of all worries and focus on the present moment.

Your emotional well-being affects the conception process, and meditation helps prepare for motherhood. The easy practices you can incorporate into your daily life will not only help you prepare for pregnancy, carry your baby, and give birth but also aid in a swift recovery postpartum. Immerse yourself in the world of harmony and mindfulness—and discover how it can help you build a happy future for yourself and your future family.

Stress and Fertility: How to Reduce Stress Levels for Successful Pregnancy Planning

The psychosocial state plays a significant role in pregnancy planning. Attitude towards the process, stress levels, and overall emotional well-being can influence the chances of conception and a successful pregnancy.

Research indicates that chronic stress can impact a woman’s reproductive system, disrupting hormonal balance and the menstrual cycle. Psychological tension can lead to changes in ovulation or even the cessation of menstruation. This makes pregnancy planning a more challenging process. To reduce stress while planning for pregnancy, consider using a reliable online period calculator or online fertility calculator.

Learning to manage emotions and lower stress levels is crucial. This is where meditation and relaxation come to the rescue. Simple meditative practices can help balance emotions, improve mood, and elevate levels of positive hormones like endorphins.

Another important aspect is the attitude towards pregnancy. Doubts, fears, or uncertainties about readiness for motherhood may suppress the desire to conceive. Opening up to the idea of motherhood, maintaining a positive outlook on this significant step, and trusting oneself are essential.

Meditation and relaxation will enable you to better understand your feelings and emotions, fostering an internal dialogue with yourself. This can help remove internal blocks and fears, leading to a more harmonious approach to pregnancy planning.

Discover Inner Harmony: The Power of Meditation for Pregnancy Planning

Meditation is a wonderful way to find harmony within oneself and with the surrounding world. In a world where stress and tension become an inevitable part of everyday life, meditation provides an opportunity to calm the mind, improve emotional well-being, and enhance overall sense of well-being.

For women planning for pregnancy, meditation can be a valuable tool. Research shows that regular meditation practices can positively impact fertility. It helps reduce stress levels and normalize hormonal balance, which contributes to a more successful conception.

Meditation also aids in connecting with one’s body and cycle. It enhances mindfulness and helps observe subtle changes in the body related to menstrual cycle phases, enabling identification of the most favorable days for conception.

To begin meditation, nothing special is required. Find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed, and simply sit or lie down. Focus on your breath, allowing thoughts to drift away. Start with short sessions, gradually increasing the meditation time.

Release Tension with Deep Breathing: Relaxation Techniques for Pregnancy Planning

In the now days, where daily worries and busyness become an integral part of life, relaxation offers an opportunity to find tranquility and peace. One of the effective methods of relaxation is deep breathing. While planning for pregnancy, women can utilize simple breathing exercises to release tension and stay present in the moment.

Find a quiet and comfortable place where nothing will distract you. Sit or lie down comfortably, relaxing your shoulders and arms. Close your eyes and begin to pay attention to your breath. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose, counting to four in your mind, while focusing on breathing from your abdomen rather than your chest. Hold your breath for a count of “one.” Then exhale smoothly and steadily through your mouth, also counting to four in your mind. Pause for another count of “one” before the next inhalation. Repeat this process several times, concentrating solely on your breath and letting go of all other thoughts.

This simple practice will help you unwind, release stress, and be present in the moment. You can perform this breathing technique at any time of the day when you feel the need to find solitude and relaxation.

Other relaxation methods include yoga, outdoor walks, taking warm baths with aromatic oils, and listening to calming music or natural sounds. These practices help create an atmosphere of tranquility and serenity, positively impacting your emotional well-being. Integrating relaxation into your daily life, especially during the period of pregnancy planning, will make it easier to incorporate meditation for postpartum recovery.

Community Support in Pregnancy Planning: Group Meditation and Relaxation Sessions

Meditation and relaxation are powerful tools. While individual meditation practice can be beneficial, joining a group with an experienced trainer can offer even greater advantages.

Group sessions allow women to exchange experiences and support each other on this journey. It creates a sense of community, which is especially crucial during the pregnancy planning period when the support of others can play a vital role. Connecting with women going through a similar phase helps reduce feelings of isolation and doubts that may arise during the process.

An experienced trainer can provide practical recommendations and personalized meditation and relaxation techniques suitable for each participant. This enables effective integration of these practices into daily life and adaptation to individual needs, including the phases of the menstrual cycle.

During group sessions, women receive feedback from the trainer and fellow participants, deepening their understanding of meditative practices and refining their techniques. Collective inspiration and support can serve as powerful motivators for regular practice.

However, if joining a group is not feasible, individual meditation and relaxation practices can still be highly beneficial. A woman can choose a convenient time and place for her practice, making it more flexible and adaptable to her schedule.

Regardless of the chosen meditation and relaxation approach, a woman will undoubtedly discover a profound source of tranquility and support. Embracing inner calm and harmony during pregnancy planning creates a favorable atmosphere for successful conception and the well-being of the future child.

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Choosing the Right IVF Clinic: Factors to Consider for a Successful Treatment https://www.professorshouse.com/choosing-the-right-ivf-clinic-factors-to-consider-for-a-successful-treatment/ https://www.professorshouse.com/choosing-the-right-ivf-clinic-factors-to-consider-for-a-successful-treatment/#respond Mon, 24 Jul 2023 17:26:26 +0000 https://www.professorshouse.com/?p=1042960 IVF stands as the most effective fertility treatment option for couples seeking to begin or grow their family. However, it is a thorough and intricate procedure that demands time, substantial financial commitment, and emotional investment. For couples willing to go the extra mile, they deserve nothing less than the finest IVF treatment in a private […]

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IVF stands as the most effective fertility treatment option for couples seeking to begin or grow their family. However, it is a thorough and intricate procedure that demands time, substantial financial commitment, and emotional investment. For couples willing to go the extra mile, they deserve nothing less than the finest IVF treatment in a private fertility clinic.

With a multitude of IVF clinics to choose from, you may find yourself perplexed and unsure of where to begin your search. You’re probably grappling with questions about the qualities of a suitable IVF clinic, the factors to consider, and how to choose a reputable fertility clinic.

To ensure you make the right choice, it is essential to equip yourself with a checklist of what to look for. In this comprehensive guide, we aim to provide practical advice to help you narrow down your options and select the best IVF clinic for your needs.

Considerations for Location and Environment

Consider the location of the IVF clinic or private fertility clinic. Is it easily accessible, safe, and convenient for your daily schedule? IVF treatment requires dedication, time, and frequent visits for stimulation and monitoring.

For international patients, the dedication and effort required are even greater. At the IVF clinic, most international patients can initiate stimulation and monitoring in their home country with affiliated doctors or their chosen physician. They then only need to visit private IVF clinics for the trigger injection and egg retrieval, reducing their stay to approximately 4-8 days.

In addition to transportation, it is advisable to pay a visit to the clinic and appraise its environment. Reach what is IVF clinic looks like. Does the atmosphere create a sense of safety, comfort, and relaxation for you? Cleanliness and a calming ambiance can significantly enhance your experience during the IVF process.

Explore Diverse Treatment Options and Services

Offered IVF treatment encompasses more than just traditional IVF procedures. Depending on various infertility and genetic factors, additional treatments and services may be necessary to optimize outcomes. If your infertility issues are not severe, IUI may be recommended by the doctors before considering IVF. Specific fertilization techniques like ICSI might be recommended, or the male partner may require procedures like PES/TESE for sperm extraction or Sperm MACS/PICSI for sperm selection. Some patients may need egg freezing for future use, while others may require embryo freezing to preserve viable embryos. Additionally, a reputable IVF clinic may offer PGT services for the genetic screening of embryos before transfer to the uterus.

The range of assisted reproductive services provided by a clinic indicates its ability to support your needs throughout your fertility treatment journey.

Expenses and Affordability: Finding Affordable Options

While the cost of IVF treatment is generally known to be significant, it is prudent to conduct thorough research and find a clinic known for its transparency regarding expenses. Seek out a clinic that dedicates itself to providing thorough explanations of potential costs and the logic behind suggested treatments. Ensure that package offerings are clear and comprehensive, with no hidden costs.

Qualifications and Achievement Rates: Evaluating Credentials

Every fertility clinic maintains statistics, and reputable clinics are usually transparent about their track record. It is preferable to choose a clinic with a high success rate, but it is also essential to consider other factors such as cost, location, and patient ratings when comparing multiple clinics. Evaluating clinics based on success rates alone may not provide a complete picture.

Care through Advanced Equipment and Technologies

The success of IVF treatments is closely linked to the quality of equipment and technological advancements used by a clinic. While it is tempting to focus solely on “advanced,” “cutting-edge,” or “latest” technologies advertised by a clinic, it is crucial to determine whether these technologies are effective and suitable for your specific case. Basic core functions and services of the clinic, as well as the expertise of the staff operating the equipment, should also be considered.

Superior clinics have their own onsite Embryology, Andrology, and Genetic laboratories adhering to the highest international quality standards. Availability utilization of the Geri-Time-Lapse Incubator, the latest generation of time-lapse incubators, allows detailed tracking of embryo development without disrupting the culture chamber. Optimal culture conditions for each embryo are ensured with individually controlled and monitored chambers. The use of mini incubators enhances stability, leading to increased pregnancy rates. Additionally, Karyomapping, a state-of-the-art technology for preimplantation genetic testing, is employed by the best clinics, which ensures accurate results within days to weeks, unlike other tests that can take months.

Expertise and Experience of Medical Professionals

The qualifications and experience of the doctors at an IVF clinic are essential considerations that should not be overlooked. Look for doctors who have received extensive training in infertility and reproduction. What do fertility doctors do? IVF treatment often requires personalized approaches, as subtle adjustments may be necessary to achieve optimal results. A good IVF clinic will design a tailored treatment plan for each patient, closely monitoring the response to medications and the stimulation and retrieval process to prevent complications. Schedule an appointment to meet the doctor in person and assess whether they are the right fit for you. Make a list where you consider questions to ask a fertility specialist. A skilled infertility clinician will demonstrate their expertise and understanding of your unique situation.

Proficiency of the Staff

While the doctor plays a significant role, the fertility team at the clinic also contributes to your overall IVF experience. Since you will interact with the clinic’s staff over several weeks, their responsiveness and helpfulness are essential. Naturally, you have fertility questions to ask doctor. Do they take the time to answer your questions? Are they courteous and supportive? Feeling comfortable and supported by the staff is crucial during this emotional journey.

Consider the experience and training of the scientists working in the laboratories. Are there ongoing training programs and competency checks in place? Does the laboratory management have extensive experience? Scientific literature and engagement in knowledge sharing and quality assurance testing are also indicative of a reputable clinic.

Reviews Plays Roles

Reading reviews from other patients who have already undergone the IVF journey can provide valuable insights. While some clinics may not offer referrals or testimonials, you can often find reviews on social media platforms. Visit a clinic’s Facebook page and observe reactions and comments regarding their treatments and services. Success stories from their patients are frequently shared by reputable and private IVF clinics.

While reviews should be approached with caution due to their subjectivity, they can still offer useful information. Consider multiple aspects and evaluate the clinic and its doctors through direct communication or in-person consultations.

By keeping these factors in mind, you can effectively narrow down your options and search for the IVF clinic that aligns perfectly with your specific needs and preferences.

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Good Nutrition: The Best Way to Build Baby’s Brain https://www.professorshouse.com/good-nutrition-the-best-way-to-build-babys-brain/ https://www.professorshouse.com/good-nutrition-the-best-way-to-build-babys-brain/#respond Sun, 12 Jun 2022 02:48:46 +0000 https://www.professorshouse.com/?p=1040150 If you’re a new parent, you’ve likely spent a lot of time researching ways to improve your baby’s cognitive skills. Traditional wisdom is that a child’s environment after birth fosters their ability to learn. Although strategies like listening to music and observing colorful mobiles stand the test of time, current research indicates that the capacity […]

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If you’re a new parent, you’ve likely spent a lot of time researching ways to improve your baby’s cognitive skills. Traditional wisdom is that a child’s environment after birth fosters their ability to learn. Although strategies like listening to music and observing colorful mobiles stand the test of time, current research indicates that the capacity for intellectual development originates even before a baby is born.

If you think that means genetic inheritance, think again. Although genes contribute to intelligence their influence is limited. It’s scattered across many different genes, each playing a tiny role. More significant is how those genes interact with their environment. This process is known as gene expression and it involves an area of science known as epigenetics.

Epigenetics Explains How Babies Develop

Not coincidentally, epigenetics is the beating heart of prenatal development. As a fetus develops, its cells divide and differentiate. To oversimplify, the different cells it needs – brain, heart, liver, and so on – are created by epigenetic processes that involve switching specific genes on or off.

Throughout life, many factors in addition to DNA influence gene expression. The epigenome links genes with their environment and its impact originates long before conception. We now know that epigenetic patterns are heritable, programming subsequent generations for health or illness.

For starters, life experiences leave epigenetic marks on cells, including reproductive cells – the sperm and egg that unite to form an embryo. Once conception occurs, a woman’s nutritional status prompts patterns of gene expression that impact her pregnancy. The food she eats, the air she breathes and the stress she experiences also affect how her baby’s genes are expressed. 

Poor nutrition raises the risk of delivering a baby with low birth weight, which has been linked with an increased risk for a wide range of chronic conditions like heart disease and diabetes. Focusing on brain development, full-term newborns weighing less than 5.5 pounds are more likely to have poor cognitive function. 

Deficient nutrition during pregnancy can spark alterations in gene expression that threaten a child’s school smarts. Researchers studying umbilical cord tissue have been able to connect these changes to cognitive performance and learning ability, as well as socially disruptive behavior and poor performance in school. 

Poor Nutrition and Alcohol Unite

Consider fetal alcohol spectrum disorders. When a pregnant woman overindulges in alcohol, it compromises her body’s ability to utilize nutrients. Combined with the potentially toxic effects of alcohol, her nutritional deficiency increases the risk of negative pregnancy outcomes, including cognitive problems.

Scientists don’t fully understand the cellular mechanisms but alcohol and poor nutrition appear to team up, destabilizing the expression of numerous genes. These risks can originate even before a baby is conceived – in part because a father’s sperm can transmit detrimental epigenetic modifications. Fathers who drink too much alcohol around the time of conception, increase their offspring’s risk for behavioral problems, including poor performance in school and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Inflammation Hampers Brain Development

Maternal inflammation is another risk. It disrupts the delivery of key brain building nutrients to the fetus, sparking epigenetic changes that can sabotage brain development. Obesity, chronic stress and certain diseases trigger inflammation, as does a diet high in ultra-processed foods like sugar, refined carbs and unhealthy fats – staples in the so-called Standard American Diet.

Various dietary approaches like the DASH diet and the Mediterranean Diet are very effective at lowering inflammation, among other benefits. Basically, these healthy eating plans are rich in plant-based, high-fiber foods like whole grains, fruits and vegetables, while limiting refined foods, including unhealthy fats.

Plan for Pregnancy in Advance

Consuming a nutrient-dense diet prior to becoming pregnant supports a healthy pregnancy by improving negative patterns of gene expression that might be passed on to offspring.  Moreover, research shows that the effects of poor nutrition have the greatest impact during certain periods of development, including the first 8 weeks after conception. 

That’s why the time to begin thinking about having a baby is well before you become pregnant. Experts advise at least 3 months of preparation prior to pregnancy – the minimum required to boost sperm quality and build up the mother-to-be’s nutritional reserves.

Make Sure You Have the Necessary Nutrients

While it’s always important to consume a variety of nutrients, some are vital when you’re pregnant. These include folate, vitamins, B6 and B12, iron, zinc, iodine, vitamin A, vitamin D, calcium and choline.  All support various epigenetic processes with differing effects.

Throughout pregnancy, rapid fetal growth requires additional calories, especially from protein and healthy fats. The research on the benefits of omega-3 supplementation during pregnancy is very robust. Omega-3 fatty acids are important at every stage from preconception through delivery and lactation, but especially during the last trimester when the baby’s brain and nervous system are forming.

Throughout the life cycle, epigenetics pulls strings that affect well-being. The science is complex but the message is simple. Eating a nutritious diet built around a variety of whole foods does more than keep you healthy. It establishes a legacy of wellness that helps to build hale and hearty offspring with aptly developed brains.

Judith Finlayson is the author of You Are What Your Grandparents Ate:  What You Need to Know About Nutrition, Experience, Epigenetics, and the Origins of Chronic Disease. Visit her at www.judithfinlayson.com.  

Selected Resources

Goriounova, G and Mansvelder, H. Genes, Cells and Brain Areas of Intelligence. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. 2019

Shankar K. Effects of Pregnancy and Nutritional Status on Alcohol Metabolism. Alcohol Research and Health 2007.

Miller, N.C., et al Maternal Nutrition and Child Neurodevelopment: Actions Across Generations. The Journal of Pediatrics 2017

Goeden, N. et al. Maternal Inflammation Disrupts Fetal Nuerodevelopment via Increased Placental Output of Serotonin to the Fetal Brain. The Journal of Neuroscience 2016.

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Are You Ready to Have Kids? https://www.professorshouse.com/are-you-ready-to-have-kids/ https://www.professorshouse.com/are-you-ready-to-have-kids/#respond Sun, 25 Mar 2018 21:00:23 +0000 https://www.professorshouse.com/?p=31902 Perhaps you and your husband have been married for a little over a year. You both want children but want to know when is the best time for us to start trying? Is there ever really a best time? Most of your friends already have children, and you’re starting to feel as if you should […]

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Perhaps you and your husband have been married for a little over a year. You both want children but want to know when is the best time for us to start trying? Is there ever really a best time? Most of your friends already have children, and you’re starting to feel as if you should get started a little sooner than later. That, and both of your parents keep not so subtly hinting that they are ready to be grandparents. But are you ready to have kids?

This is a question that crosses the minds of lots of new couples.  You are already ahead of the curve on this topic; i.e., you both know that you want children! As trivial as this seems, not all couples can agree on whether or not they want to be parents. I know, you probably are thinking, “why would you marry someone that didn’t have the same feelings about children as you do?” Trust me. It happens!

Since you both know that you eventually want to have children, the next step is, when? While I know lots of folks will tell you that there never truly is a “best” or “good” time to have children, what if I told you there was? The best time to have children is when you are both ready! While this seems overly simplified, the fact of the matter is that you both may not arrive at this milestone decision simultaneously.

Not knowing the dynamics of your relationship; i.e., how long you all have known one another prior to getting married, etc., my response to this question is certainly not a one size fits all.  Having said such, I will give you some general things to consider in determining whether or not you’re truly ready to be parents.

Is your relationship solid? Do you really know each other? If not, use the first few years of marriage not only get to know one another, but to enjoy each other. Once baby arrives, you won’t get this time back.

Are you financially ready and able to provide for a child? As wonderful as parenting is, it’s expensive! Between household expenses, school, childcare, medical bills, etc., it certainly can add up. You’ll want to ensure you are prepared to take on the additional financial responsibility.

Are you mentally and emotionally prepared to share your life/world with another human being who will be completely, and unconditionally dependent on you? If the answer is no, it’s ok to admit it. Some folks aren’t quite ready for this kind of commitment.

Are you physically ready to be parents? This is where I make my plug for preconception counseling. This is the visit that women have with their obgyn’s to ensure that they are at their best, health wise, to have a happy, healthy, pregnancy. If there are things that need to be better controlled such as high blood pressure, diabetes, weight, etc., these things will be addressed at this visit.  This is also an opportunity to consider any family history that may impact a future pregnancy.

Parenting is a wonderful thing! An experience like no other. It changes you; makes you grow up. For most, having children is often described as the greatest thing that has ever happened to them. And while all of these things may be true, and certainly are true for most, make sure you are sure. Once you have children, you can’t give them back.

Wife, mother, Midwesterner, and award-winning OB/GYN, Dr. Angela is equal parts best girlfriend and bold professional, supporting women’s health with innovative approaches to care and heavy doses of humor. Dr. Angela has done more than launch a successful practice, she has defined herself as a voice for a new generation of womanhood, established her ASK DR. ANGELA brand committed to authenticity, and built a community rooted in trust, candor, and compassion. You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and on her website http://askdrangela.com/

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Are Healthy Children in Your Future – 5 Ways to Prepare for a Healthy Baby https://www.professorshouse.com/healthy-children-future-5-ways-prepare-healthy-baby/ https://www.professorshouse.com/healthy-children-future-5-ways-prepare-healthy-baby/#respond Thu, 09 Nov 2017 02:09:28 +0000 https://www.professorshouse.com/?p=31424 Boy, do I wish someone had told me how important a healthy microbiome is for pregnancy when I was young and impressionable! Although would I have listened? – Maybe not. Years of miscarrying and fertility treatments in my mid-twenties brought me to my knees as the desire for a baby overshadowed every other part of […]

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Boy, do I wish someone had told me how important a healthy microbiome is for pregnancy when I was young and impressionable! Although would I have listened? – Maybe not. Years of miscarrying and fertility treatments in my mid-twenties brought me to my knees as the desire for a baby overshadowed every other part of my life. No one seemed to have a solution except to head to the fertility clinic to find out why I was ‘broken.’

In a world of instant gratification, where there is a pill available to seemingly “fix” almost anything, it’s easy to be lulled into a false sense of security about the future of one’s fertility.

Did you know that when a baby goes through the birth canal they swallow a big gulp of their mother’s vaginal bacteria? This exposure inoculates the baby’s microbiome for life. That’s right, you pass along your gut flora (bacteria) to your children…the good, the bad and the ugly, and as science continues to confirm, the health of our microbiomes has much to do with our overall health.

The human body wants to be in balance, so by following my top 5 recommendations you will not only be rebalancing your microbiome, but you will be setting yourself up to conceive naturally and give birth to a healthy and happy little baby.

  1. Awareness – Remember, it won’t all happen all at once, and that’s ok. Now is the time to start familiarizing yourself with your microbiome. What are the key factors that affect its balance? Alcohol, drugs (prescription, over the counter, and recreational), environmental toxins, household and skincare products, diet, stress, sleep, and exercise are all big influencers. Start to take action on the things that you can change.
  1. Remove/Reduce Harmful Foods – Remove or reduce foods that support the proliferation of bad bacteria in the gut, and start to detoxify your body
  • Sugar: the number one enemy to the body. Eliminate sodas and any fruit juices or sugary sports drinks with artificial flavors and colors. 
  • Processed Vegetable Oils (canola, soybean and corn are some of the worst offenders): Dining out exposes you to rancid vegetable oils in salad dressings and fried foods. Try cooking with coconut oil, butter, or ghee. 
  • GMO Foods: The majority of our corn and soy in this country are genetically modified, so choose organic when possible. 
  1. Introduce Optimal Foods – Introduce foods that will promote the proliferation of the good bacteria in your gut. Colorful vegetables and fruits are essential. Healthy fats, raw and fermented dairy, fermented foods like sauerkraut and pickles, bone broths, pastured meats and wild caught fish, sprouted legumes, and traditionally prepared sourdough bread are all a good choices.
  1. Reduce Stress – Permission granted for self-care! Abusing your body will only set you back. No guilt, no justification necessary – you only get one body, so take care of it, daily, and remember your thoughts create your reality, so think positively.
  1. Heal Your Gut – If you are struggling with heath issues, and perhaps a leaky gut, then take time to heal before having children. Look into the GAPS Diet to truly reset your body for optimal health.

Once you dive into your new way of life you won’t look back. Remember, maintaining good health is a lot easier than trying to regain it. Knowledge is power – If you can start to educate yourself now, and make small changes daily towards a healthier lifestyle, you will set yourself up for success. It’s an individual decision to be healthy, and I’m saying to you, decide! Decide to be healthy. Be a leader in this movement – the future generations are counting on you!

About Hilary Boynton:
Hilary Boynton, founder of the lifestyle brand Live Yum Yum, inspires others to prevent and reverse disease by embracing healthy lifestyle choices. She is the author of the best-selling cookbook, The Heal Your Gut Cookbook. Inspired by her family’s experience of “food as medicine,” she has dedicated herself to helping others on their path to optimal wellbeing. To see what Hilary is cooking up every day head to her Instagram @liveyumyum. http://www.liveyumyum.com/

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Symptoms of Conception https://www.professorshouse.com/symptoms-of-conception/ https://www.professorshouse.com/symptoms-of-conception/#comments Tue, 11 Jul 2017 00:15:06 +0000 http://professorshouse.com/relationship-category/symptoms-of-conception/ So, youre trying to have a baby! And you have probably subsequently noticed that the time between ‘doing it’ and finding out whether or not you are pregnant (getting your period or not) seems to be like the longest two to three weeks of your life. Each day drags on with the pace relevant to […]

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So, youre trying to have a baby! And you have probably subsequently noticed that the time between ‘doing it’ and finding out whether or not you are pregnant (getting your period or not) seems to be like the longest two to three weeks of your life. Each day drags on with the pace relevant to what children feel waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. If only you could go to sleep and wake up ‘knowing’ that you are pregnant.

Making matters worse is that the pregnancy tests that claim to be able to accurately predict pregnancy days earlier than all the rest, while accurate, are definitely no sure thing. In fact, with a negative test, the makers paste a clear label that directs you to wait a few more days and take another one. (Frustrating and Expensive) And those happy well-wishers, who are aware of your secret mission to conceive, will tell you just don’t think about it! To which, all you can is say HA! How can you not think, wonder and worry if you are about to embark on the journey of parenthood? How is it possible to try to build a life inside you and then be forced to wait to know for sure if it is there? The emotions during this waiting period are sure to run high and you will likely be more in tune with your body than ever before, searching, sometimes desperately, for the symptoms of conception.

This brings us to the next point. Are there ‘symptoms of conception?’

The answer, clearly’certainly’ is YES!

The problem is that in very, very early pregnancy you have to be able to separate fact from fiction and decide whether what you are feeling, is a symptom of conception or one that is being produced through your thoughts. There is such a thing as psychological pregnancy where the desire to conceive is so deep, that women often begin developing the signs of pregnancy.

The best way to figure this whole wicked puzzle out is to sit back and relax. By now, you should know your body and have a pretty good idea what is ‘normal’ for you in the days leading to menstruation. Take a few minutes each and every day to breathe deep breaths and sort of ‘connect’ with your body. This will also help you to feel more relaxed and perhaps a little less impatience.

Next up, is to understand the process of conception. A sperm in the reproductive organs can live 4 to 5 days before being fertilized. So if you have planned sex around ovulation, it doesn’t mean that you are going to conceive the next day. Even ovulation tests that look for hormonal plunges that signal ovulation are not an exact science of when ovulation occurs. The sperm has to travel to the egg, fertilize it and then the happily and newly paired union has to make their way into the uterus. Once there, conception STILL has not occurred. The perfect pH balance of your uterus, along with a surge of hormones will allow this happy couple to implant into the uterine lining. Once implantation occurs, the female body has two choices. Either begin producing the pregnancy hormone called HCG, which will hold the fertilized egg in place – or not. When the body decides to keep the egg and sperm combo, and they implant firmly into the uterine wall conception has occurred.

But wait! The next step where genetic splitting begins taking place around 2 days after fertilization is another key to successful conception. Often if there is anything wrong with the developing embryo, the human body will recognize it and women will experience a period. (Perhaps a few days later than normally). This isn’t necessarily a miscarriage. However, if you take pregnancy tests very early, there is a slim chance you will know that you were pregnant.

The following are the physical symptoms of conception that you may (or may not) feel at the time of conception.

Many women feel a strong pinching sensation in the lower abdomen. (Right above the hairline) This is thought to be during implantation, and you may even experience a slight amount of discharge or bleeding at this time. This doesn’t necessarily feel like period cramps, but more like you are being pinched on the inside.

You can also feel a fullness or hardness in the lower abdomen almost immediately upon conception. Even though the baby is still microscopic, hormonal changes alter the feel of your uterus and this fullness can occur. Some women may also feel like they are about to get a urinary tract infection.

Tiredness, can occur almost immediately for many women. If you suddenly need lengthy afternoon naps, you might suspect that you are pregnant even if it is a week before your period is due. It takes a lot of energy for your body to get pregnant, which can leave you exhausted. As soon as HCG starts pumping through your body, which is normally the same day as implantation occurs you might feel hungrier than normal or experience weird cravings for food. This is your body simply telling you what you need.

One confusing symptom of conception is crampiness, increased discharge, and pelvic pain. This can feel very much like you are about to get your period, but is actually your body going through the changes caused by pregnancy. This is nothing to worry about and is normal for most women. In fact, one of the reasons so many women think they aren’t pregnant is because early pregnancy feels very much like you are to start menstruating.

Last but certainly not least are the breast and cervical changes. For some women, breast tenderness and a darkening around the nipples occurs immediately, even before a missed period. Additionally, a doctor can look at your cervix, which turns bluish during pregnancy even before you have missed a period and likely tell if you are pregnant or not.

Even so, the best thing to do is to sit back and wait. Enjoy this two-week mystery time in your life with the knowing that at any moment, your life could be changed forever. Try your best not to feel stressed out or overly anxious, and continue with your life as normal. The bottom line is you will know whether you are pregnant or not soon enough.

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7 Foods to Boost Your Fertility https://www.professorshouse.com/7-foods-to-boost-your-fertility/ https://www.professorshouse.com/7-foods-to-boost-your-fertility/#respond Mon, 27 Jul 2015 16:45:04 +0000 http://www.professorshouse.com/?p=17663 When you plan on getting pregnant you’re probably ready to place all factors you can in your favor. This is a goal you want to accomplish, so there’s no time to be complacent. If you stack the odds you can boost your fertility. This makes getting pregnant easier than ever. Don’t neglect the power that […]

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When you plan on getting pregnant you’re probably ready to place all factors you can in your favor. This is a goal you want to accomplish, so there’s no time to be complacent. If you stack the odds you can boost your fertility. This makes getting pregnant easier than ever. Don’t neglect the power that certain foods have in this respect.

Oysters
fertility-food-oystersYou’ve probably heard about how oysters are an aphrodisiac. That information has been passed around for years. Oysters are one of nature’s most powerful sources of zinc. Zinc is useful for many things, including maintaining reproductive health. If you can’t stand eating oysters, then go with a zinc supplement instead. You can’t afford to ignore this important element.

Whole Milk
Dairy is known for the amount of calcium it contains. Calcium is important for good health and can help with reproduction. Of course whole milk is also filled with fat, so you have to weigh the benefits versus the drawbacks. If you follow a more vegan approach, you can eat vegetables that are high in calcium instead. The key is that you get a sufficiently high volume of calcium for maximum reproductive health.

Lean Chicken, Beef, and Turkey
fertility-food-meatIron is another essential nutrient you need to have an abundance of in your diet. You also want to consume the right amount of protein. If you eat too much it will not have the desired effect. Eating too little protein is also bad, so finding the right balance is what you need to do. A few portions of lean chicken, turkey, or beef can give the right amount. If you’re avoiding meat altogether, consider tofu or quinoa. If none of these foods sound appealing, then go the supplement route and make sure you’re hitting your daily protein target.

Whole Grains
Whole grains can also help you on your quest to get pregnant. This is one more food that’s worth trying instead of seeking treatment for infertility. Whole grains are a great source of complex carbohydrates. Fruits, beans, vegetables, and all kinds of delicious breads and cereals are what you can add to your diet to get enough complex carbohydrates. This potent mix includes folic acid and many other essential nutrients that will help with fertility.

Herring, Salmon, and Sardines
fertility-food-fishIf seafood is more your style, you may want to increase your intake of herring, salmon and sardines. These contain a range of omega-3 fatty acids, which have an awesome effect on hormones that are essential for reproduction. They also help increase blood flow in your body, which helps boost your overall health. If you really don’t enjoy eating fish, Omega-3 supplements are available just about anywhere. You can also try natural sources that include walnuts and flaxseed.

Wild Yams
Yams are likely a food that you don’t eat very often. If you’re planning on getting pregnant, you may want to up the frequency. The starch available in yams may be helpful to stimulate ovulation. If nothing else, it’s worth a shot! They taste great and are healthy too.

Berries
Berries rock because they are heavy in antioxidants. That’s great because it makes your cells more powerful. That’s important for your reproduction.

There’s no question your diet can play a strong role in helping your chances of pregnancy. All these foods also have other benefits, so there’s no reason to avoid them. Just use common sense and don’t overdo any of them and you’ll be fine.

Article by: Gary Wilson
I’m Gary Wilson, professional blogger and social media consultant. In addition, practicing conversion optimization techniques focusing health and entertainment niche. I’m always online via Twitter, you can catch me with your cool ideas.

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What are the Pros and Cons of IVF? https://www.professorshouse.com/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-ivf/ https://www.professorshouse.com/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-ivf/#comments Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:22:30 +0000 http://www.professorshouse.com/?p=17647 Couples experiencing fertility issues are faced with many decisions when it comes to the type of treatment that is most suitable for their situation. For some couples the choices are limited, depending on the reason for the infertility, their age, or the likelihood of a particular procedure working for them. Other couples may be presented […]

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Couples experiencing fertility issues are faced with many decisions when it comes to the type of treatment that is most suitable for their situation. For some couples the choices are limited, depending on the reason for the infertility, their age, or the likelihood of a particular procedure working for them. Other couples may be presented with a variety of choices.

The typical couple assuming the female has open tubes, is producing eggs and her partner has a suitable semen sample, will often start their fertility journey by trying artificial intrauterine insemination (also known as intra uterine insemination-IUI). If this procedure does not produce a pregnancy for them after 3-4 attempts, then the usual course is for the couple to consider more detailed types of treatments such as IVF. Typically, most couples end up deciding whether or not in vitro fertilization (IVF) is a viable option for them based on their personal and financial situation. This procedure of IVF has many pros and cons, which the couple should explore in detail and have a good understanding of, before making a decision.

The Pros of IVF

There are many benefits of having an IVF procedure. The biggest, of course, is having a baby! Couples who are unable to conceive naturally are now given a chance to start their family, thanks to IVF treatment. IVF is an exacted process which is tailored to a couple’s specific situation, giving them a higher chance of becoming pregnant.

Depending on the type of fertility issue you are dealing with, IVF can increase your chance of a pregnancy, but not in all cases. Here are three situations where IVF offers big advantages:

Blocked fallopian tubes. Many couples are not aware that this is a problem until they are faced with infertility. After testing to find out where the problem lies, the female’s tubes are found to be blocked. Blocked fallopian tubes can result from a previous pelvic infection, such as appendicitis or chlamydia.

Once it is determined that the tubes are blocked, IVF is the only possible treatment when attempting for a pregnancy. IUI (artificial insemination) is not an option because this procedure requires that the female’s tubes are open and working – meaning they will allow the sperm and the egg to fertilize and the subsequent fertilized egg to then travel from the tube into the womb (uterus) where it may implant.

IVF does not need the tubes to be functioning or even present, as the procedure works around the tubes by taking the eggs from the ovaries in a small procedure and then implanting the embryo (fertilized egg) directly into the uterus, where it then needs to “implant” in order for a successful pregnancy to occur.

Difficulty with the sperm’s ability to fertilize the egg. Male infertility is the cause of approximately 40% of couples needing assistance to have a baby. If there are significant issues with the quality of the man’s sperm (i.e. compromise in sperm count, motility or shape), then in most cases, IUI is not a suitable option. IVF, on the other hand, because it places the sperm and the egg within close proximately of each other, can facilitate the successful fertilization of the egg that may otherwise be unlikely to happen.

Lowered chance of baby abnormality. In some situations, couples are at high risk of conceiving a baby with an abnormality. For example, both partners may carry the gene for Cystic Fibrosis meaning that there would be a 1 in 4 chance of a baby being born with the condition. In this instance, with the use of IVF, the embryos can be tested for the condition before they are implanted into the uterus, therefore reducing the risk of having a baby with this condition. These procedures are called Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) or Comparative Genomic Hybridization (CGH) and are treatment options for couples that are at high risk.

The Cons of IVF

As with any medical procedure, IVF has its downsides. The biggest downside is the fact that you cannot guarantee a pregnancy, no matter how good things may appear. This lack of certainty can cause severe emotional issues for couples because of the stress that can result from this journey.

No one wants to imagine that their IVF cycle is going to be anything other than perfect. Please don’t skip this section in the hope that it won’t happen to you. We sure hope that you don’t experience any of the risks of IVF on this list, but we do want you to be prepared just in case.

The risks of IVF to be considered are:

Cycle cancellation. Sometimes you just don’t react to the treatment prescribed for you the way we would expect. This might be due to an under-response or an over-response to the medication.

No/fewer eggs collected than expected. It is important to understand that not every follicle seen on an ultrasound scan will have an egg collected from it during the egg collection procedure. It is expected that approximately 80-90% of follicles will yield an egg. Occasionally, there are fewer eggs collected at the egg collection procedure than expected. Sometimes, there are no eggs collected during the egg collection procedure.

We started with more Follicles than we ended up with Eggs and Embryos – What Happened? Once the eggs have been collected, not every egg will fertilise, although it is expected that approximately 70-80% will fertilise. Even once an egg has been fertilised, it does not necessarily mean it will be suitable for transfer or freezing. These results are very individual.

Fertilisation failure. Sometimes we will get eggs from you at egg pick up, but none of them will fertilise, meaning no embryos will form. Fortunately, this doesn’t happen very often and can sometimes be due to poor egg quality, or poor sperm quality.

Implantation failure. An embryo that had reached the stage of development that was expected was transferred back into your uterus. You took all the medications exactly as we asked. But now you are having a period. This is called Implantation failure. Cycle cancellation and fertilisation failure are fortunately rare, but implantation failure is common.

Miscarriage
You’d think that the worst of it was over once you saw that positive pregnancy test! Miscarriage is the loss of the pregnancy before 20 weeks, and can happen at any stage, but is most common before 12 weeks of pregnancy. About one in five pregnancies will be lost through miscarriage. The chances of miscarriage are increased for older women, with as many as 50% of women over age 40 miscarrying.

Ectopic Pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is when the embryo implants outside the uterus and continues to develop. This may sound unusual given that the embryo is placed in the uterus at the time of transfer, but it can and does happen. The most common place by far is the fallopian tube. The chances of this happening are slightly higher in an IVF pregnancy, especially if the fallopian tubes are known to be damaged. It happens in about 1 in 100 pregnancies.

Multiple Pregnancy. “Hang on,” you say, “getting pregnant and having twins isn’t my idea of a problem – so why is it on the ‘cons’ list?” The aim of fertility treatment is to get you one baby at a time, so in some respects a multiple pregnancy (and especially if it is more than twins) can be considered not a good outcome of IVF. There are some really good medical reasons why it isn’t good for you or your babies if there is more than one in your uterus at once. This is why we prefer to only transfer one embryo at a time. Even when we do transfer only one there is still a risk (although small) of an identical twin pregnancy as the embryo can split to form two babies.

Baby Abnormalities. Approximately 2-3% of non-IVF conceived babies are born with some kind of abnormality. This might be minor (a large birth mark), or life threatening (a heart defect), or cause long term problems for the child as it grows up (spina bifida). One of the concerns about the widespread use of IVF has been the question as to whether there is an increased risk of abnormalities in babies born after IVF.

The research that has been done to date to answer this question has produced some conflicting results, with some studies indicating no increase in risk, while others have shown as high as a doubling of the risk. Even if the risk is doubled the chance of a perfectly normal baby with IVF is about 96%.

Risks of Egg Pick Up. The egg pick up procedure is a surgical procedure and like all surgical procedures, it carries some risk. However, the procedure is considered low risk, and the majority of women suffer no ill effects. During the egg collection procedure, it is possible for the needle that it used to drain the fluid from the follicles in the ovary to puncture other structures nearby. We always perform our egg pick up procedures with an ultrasound monitor so that the tip of the needle can be seen at all times to minimize this. Structures that can be injured include major blood vessels, the bladder and the bowel.

Risks of Embryo Transfer. The embryo transfer procedure is very low in risk, similar to having a Pap smear test. Rarely, an infection can occur in the uterus (called endometritis) which produces pain, discharge and bleeding. If left untreated, the infection could spread elsewhere and be potentially serious. It is treated with antibiotics, and sometimes admission to the hospital might be needed if the infection is particularly severe.

Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS) is a potentially serious complication of fertility treatments where the ovary is artificially stimulated. It occurs in about 5% of all IVF treatment cycles, and is severe in about 1% of all cycles. It generally begins to cause problems about 4 or 5 days after the egg pick up procedure.

To develop OHSS, you need to have had some form of stimulating drug. Generally this is FSH injections, but it has been known to occur when clomiphene tablets are used. To trigger the onset of the problem, ovulation (or a trigger injection) must occur. OHSS lasts for about 10 days, but if you become pregnant, it can last for several months and tends to be worse.

The positive side to your first cycle is that regardless of the outcome, we have learned valuable information about how you react to treatment, and can change what we do the next time so that you have a better chance of success.

Summary

As you can see, IVF has many pros and cons, both of which need to be considered in order to determine the right decision for you and your partner. Even if IVF is your only option of achieving a pregnancy, it does not mean you have to take this journey. It is OK to remain childfree. Talk to your doctor about the risks to help you make a decision. Every couple will differ in what works for them and IVF is not always the only answer. Managing expectations is the key to maximizing the chance that the entire goes as smoothly as possible and hopefully then the desired outcome becomes a reality.

Author Bio – Denise Donati
Denise Donati is a registered nurse/midwife and co-owner of Fertility Solutions, a full service fertility clinic with offices on the Sunshine Coast and Bundaberg, Queensland. In 2012, she launched Affordable IVF, which offers streamlined IVF and ICSI treatments at a lower cost to couples who wish to begin their family. Together, the clinics have helped bring hundreds of babies into the world through the miracle of assisted reproductive technology. At our clinics, your baby is our success.

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Feeling Pressured to Have Another Baby https://www.professorshouse.com/feeling-pressured-to-have-another-baby/ https://www.professorshouse.com/feeling-pressured-to-have-another-baby/#respond Tue, 16 Jun 2015 14:56:27 +0000 http://www.professorshouse.com/?p=17521 The question of ‘how many kids you want to have,’ is relative to your age. When you are a child, you probably wanted ten, or none at all. Then as you grow up, you picture the perfect family with one boy and one girl, spaced a perfect 3-4 years apart. Then, you actually meet that […]

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The question of ‘how many kids you want to have,’ is relative to your age. When you are a child, you probably wanted ten, or none at all. Then as you grow up, you picture the perfect family with one boy and one girl, spaced a perfect 3-4 years apart. Then, you actually meet that special someone and get married, and suddenly the desire to have a child becomes the focus of your attention. And while you may want 2, 3, or even 4 – your spouse may not want any at all, or may be agreeing to have just one child (for your sake) without really wanting a large family.

According to research, people often have an ideal number of children they want based on their own experiences growing up. Since these childhood and family experiences of their own are both very personal, and stem from a part of part of your life, in which your spouse didn’t exist yet – understanding one another can be hard. But what often happens, is that couples who disagree about having children, or how many children to have – believe that will time change all things. After all, once you have that beautiful baby – how could your spouse resist having another, and another, right? WRONG!

Feeling pressured to have another baby when you don’t want to is a difficult place to be in. Certainly, if you are the one who doesn’t want more (or any) children, you are likely feeling both guilty and resentful for being poked and prodded constantly to do so. This is especially true if you have been clear with your procreation desire from the get go. AND….many men agree to one or even two children because they know that it will make their spouse happy. The ‘wanting more’ is somehow unfathomable to them, since they already compromised their initial decisions.

And let’s be honest, human nature pretty much tells us that the situation of one spouse wanting another child, and another spouse not wanting another child will turn couples resentful, spiteful and will disrupt nearly every angle of their lives. It can easily become a power struggle and can quickly affect the relationship to the point of divorce. And sadly, it can also result in more children – that may actually be resented by the spouse who didn’t want more.

Today, many men feeling pressured to have more children (when they don’t want anymore) has spiked the amount of men scheduling their own vasectomies, against their spouse’s wishes. Even young men today, under 30, are exploring the options of permanent birth control feeling ultra threatened by women who might ‘trick’ or deceive them in order to make their dreams of more children a reality. Many urologists are ganging up on these men and some flat out refuse a vasectomy to a man under 30, or who has no biological children of his own. Yet consider this. Men can have children as soon as they reach puberty, can spend their 20’s procreating – yet at 29 are not deemed NOT responsible enough to make the choice of infertility on their own free will? Even if they have a couple of children already? Isn’t there a shred of chance that perhaps the decision to NOT have more (or any) children is one that takes calculated thought and responsible decisions?

One of the reasons that doctors are so reluctant to perform vasectomies for men is because so many men become pressured to have children later in life by their partners or wives. Then, they seek a reversal. However, of the over 600,000 vasectomies performed in the US each year, only 6% come back at some point for a reversal. And the vasectomy removes the possibility of being tricked into having more children, the ‘oops’ pregnancy and reduces the stress that men may feel if they are being pressured for more.

Unfortunately, the issue of how many children to have can be a deal breaker in relationships. If you are stuck in this situation, you have to think back to the beginning of your relationship. Was your spouse honest and up front with you? Do you already have children together? Is there a possibility that the new desire to have children is being sparked by a disconnect in the relationship or a fear of entering a transitionary period in your life?

Children are definitely worth the effort. Growing the family tree and experiencing the love of a child is very, very special. But they are also expensive, taxing to marriages, stressful, hard to deal with and extremely permanent! When it comes down to it, it is disrespectful, rude, and very selfish to inflict your ideals on anyone else, and pressure them into having more children, when they really don’t want to.

In other words, sometimes it’s best to agree to disagree and move on. If you don’t have children and really want some, but your partner is adamantly against it, you should consider moving forward in life to find another partner that more closely matches your familial desires. The decision to have children is permanent, and is not something that should be taken lightly, or made by one person in the home. The decision to be a parent, is best made when two people agree. Rather than simply feel that the decision to not have more children is a personal attack, or speaks volumes about the relationship, see it as open and honest dialogue. Having kids for the wrong reasons, or because you feel pressured to do so, is never the best way for a child to start out in life.

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